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GYM LIFER: IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

December 20, 2019 by

gym lifer

Gym Lifer: You need to come with me and talk to someone.

Me: Sure.

Him: He’s having chest pains.

Me: I’ll follow you.

Him: (walking away) It could be urgent.

Me: (following and thinking, Why is this gym lifer asking me? Because I talked about saving a guy’s life in the gym, so now I’m the resident lifesaver?)

We stop and talk to an older man in the hallway, another gym lifer.

Me: You’ve got chest pains?

OM: Right under my rib cage, in the middle.

Me: Does it hurt right now?

OM: No.

Me: Does it hurt with movement? When you move your arms?

OM: (Moves arms) No.

Me: Does it hurt more with each breath?

OM: (Takes deep breath) No.

Me: (Thinking, If you’re on your feet and it doesn’t hurt when you move or breathe, when does it hurt?) When you feel it, does the pain radiate to your left arm, or jaw? Do you get short of breath?

OM: No.

Me: (Stroking my beard) If this has been going on for a few days . . .

OM: It has.

Me: . . . then you’re probably not having a heart attack, but there’s something going on.

OM: Yes.

Me: So make an appointment with your doctor and get the heart attack blood test.

OM: There’s such a thing?

Me: It measures a protein in your blood that’s released if you’ve had a heart attack.

OM: Do you think I’m having a heart attack?

Me: If you did, it was a small one. Get checked out, then check back with me.

OM: Okay.

Me: Did you just say, OK Boomer?

OM: No. Why?

Me: It’s nothing. Call your doctor, okay?

OM: Ok, boomer.

Me: What?

OM: I said okay.

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About David Gillaspie

I am a writer. This is my blog story day by day.

Comments

  1. Paul H McGinnis says
    December 28, 2019 at 3:29 pm

    My nieces from CA told me that when Boomers use the term “Okay, Boomer (insert eye roll)” (yes, it’s all in quotes), it’s a dead meme. So, I guess the gym guy with chest pains was just experiencing excessive gas (and isn’t it always excessive). And more importantly, it is the Okay Boomer meme that has experience cardiac arrest. I’d like to say “Good Riddance” to the meme, but the death and rebirth cycle in the digital age happens at light-speed. I expect to be skewered by an even more devastating virtual attack the next time I act my age.

    • David Gillaspie says
      December 29, 2019 at 11:41 am

      The best part of okay boomer is seeing the youths say it to each other. More of that is better for us, then we can blame them for ruining our fun.