GROWING OLDER LIKE CHEESE, WINE, AND MILLENNIALS

Growing older is a common lament for all generations. The silliest complaints come from the youths.

Who are these youths? Anyone younger than the one complaining about growing older.

Since I’m sixty-five and don’t complain, let’s look at those who do. Ready?

The Gen-X man in the gym pushing three plates on the bench:

“I’m telling you, these kids man. Always pushing, always challenging. They wouldn’t know a good thing if it crawled out of their half-masted pants. What is that all about? They want to look stupid to fit in?”

The Baby Boomer scrolling through handmade tie dyed t-shirts:

“I never understood the magic of tie dye. The explosion of color is supposed to be what, a mind blowing experience if I stare at it long enough? Older boomers loved to think so, and even guys older. If Ken Kesey was the Hippie King, he was a thirty year old man idolized by kids. He loved the tie dye.”

(The first Boomers were born in 1946; Kesey was born in 1935.)

Millennial explaining the universe after one last drink:

“They don’t get it. These are people who would rather watch Casablanca another hundred times than see Parasite again. There’s so much texture and shadowing the second time, but no, all they want to hear is, “We’ll always have Paris.

“They’d rather listen to Creedence and old Bruce than inflict their ears to any music made after 1978. I think they might be deaf. If they saw The Who live they probably are.”

Open The Growing Older Door Already

Whether you’re a displaced hog rancher in North Carolina, a flooded farmer in Iowa, or running from fire in California, it’s time to take inventory. And remember, when you hear someone say, “take inventory,” check their references.

No matter the age, from millennials, to Get-X, to Boomers and beyond, look around you. No, not go outside and look, but take a mental inventory. Keep up.

Are your friends good people? Or are the quacky-ass science denying dipshits who failed junior high health class and PE, but have ‘Ideas’ about things.

Do your good friends have a circle that includes born again zealots who quote the Bible as it was never written because their spiritual guide said he read it and that’s good enough for God?

Check the family tree for relatives who hold life-long grudges, but can’t remember why? Check your branch, too.

Growing older should be a time of comfort and relaxation, for gathering like minded people to confirm life decisions. Any age is old enough to banish soul-sucking relationships, right? It is if you agree to being a thin-skinned whiny bitch, otherwise grow the hell up.

We’re all better with greater diversity, but common ground, like 1+1=2, like the Periodic Table of Elements, is still important. From a writer’s point of view, the goal is to understand others, not judge them.

Be more like a writer.