GIVING ORDERS? LEARN TO TAKE ORDERS FIRST

If you’re giving orders, congratulations Kingpin.

But it works better if you know how to take orders first.

Taking orders is a lifestyle, giving them is a privilege.

So, where’s the disconnect?

Too many folks demanding the time and effort of others have never learned how to follow orders.

And it shows.

If Karen gives an order and it isn’t followed to her specifications, she’s talking to the manager.

She won’t take no for an answer even when she’s out of line.

“Ma’am, we ask out patients to wear a mask.”

“I’m not a patient, I just drove my neighbor to her cancer appointment.”

“Yes, and since we are a clinic with people showing low immunity, we ask everyone to comply and wear a mask.”

“No thanks, because I’m not the sick one. I’d like to talk to the manager.”

“Ma’am, these people are fighting for their lives. Please wear a mask to help them.”

“Well, they don’t look so good. I don’t think a mask will help”

This is a bad Karen.

How To Take Orders

Where’s the best place to learn how to take orders?

I’ll go first: The U.S. Army.

That’s where you learn who you are in the grand scheme of things.

Based on Drill Sergeants’ opinions, you are worse than any stool dropped from any animal in the history of time.

They give orders to learn about you, test your limits, to find your breaking point.

It’s done by giving orders to clean a latrine with a toothbrush, polish brass until your fingers cramp, and organize a locker they will never say is organized enough as they throw your gear on the ground.

In the Army you get humiliated in front of your peers, humbled before God, and live to learn another day.

Then you get promoted to corporal and you have the world at your feet. You can give orders.

If you don’t know this ahead of time, it’s more difficult.

The Lesson Lasts A Lifetime

Soldier Boy learns about following orders and giving orders.

They have high expectations of others to do the same.

But they can’t because they don’t share the same experience.

I worked with a guy on a short term project.

We almost finished, probably another fifteen minutes, and he quit on me.

“We’re almost done.”

“I’m done now. It’s the end of the day.”

“We can’t leave this stuff out in the open.”

“I can.”

“Come on. I need your help.”

“Look, we can both tell time. We’re done. At least I am.”

He was a good guy, but he showed what he was all about then, and he was probably right.

I didn’t give an order, I made a request that he denied.

It changed our relationship from friends to something else. I still don’t know what that is.

We both saw the same problem, knew what had to be done, and I ended up doing it myself.

That was the difference between working with a new guy, and working with a long-term guy.

I was long term, but others were longer. I followed their lead.

Not this guy.

Respect Workers When Giving Orders

I’ve watched while two women met with men to ask them to comply with orders.

The men didn’t see a problem.

These were men, hard looking men, hard working men, who knew their jobs.

They were business owners whose employees follow their orders.

But the two women were property managers working to keep things in proper running order.

It was challenging for both sides, but they worked it out.

Each man had their own priorities.

The ladies explained how the orders they gave benefited their neighbors.

It came out sounding like The Golden Rule.

Golden Rule, precept in the Gospel of Matthew (7:12): “In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.”

When a soft, flabby, man barks orders at his employees, more than a few see the irony.

The men the ladies spoke to were neither soft or flabby. But they understood what was asked because of their experience as leaders.

Good leaders do that; poor leaders have a shit-fit.

Giving Orders Made Simple

First, establish common ground. Review the goals.

Listen to the feedback and adjust.

Maybe the orders need clarification.

Be specific. What helps one, helps all.

Not everyone gets on board because they can’t see beyond their own needs.

If you get kickback instead of feedback, use incentives, not threats.

Adults respond better to incentives. If they don’t respond, then you need to know more about them.

They either want more in return for following orders, or they’re incapable due to other factors.

What factors?

Is it women telling them what to do?

Or a poor reaction to any suggestions to improve, because, “Don’t tell me what to do?”

If you lead, don’t depend on threats you can’t follow through with.

People need to understand before acting.

If you’re hungry and someone offers food, do you complain?

If you’re cold and someone offers a coat, take it with thanks.

Understand the world might take you down, but there’s help.

And who doesn’t need a little help now and then?

I do, so leave a comment or I’m going to go hissy fit right here.

I might. But I won’t.

Neither will you, right?

Right?