BLOGGER PROBLEMS: AN AUTHENTIC TAKE

 

Blogger problems come in the same package as any other problems.

And they get the same initial response:

What. The. Hell?

After all that calms down, writing begins.

For example:

Say you drive a car with air-pressure monitors on the tires and the warning light is always on.

You’ve checked the tires and found them all at the recommended air pressure.

But the warning light on the dash is still on.

It stays on until you learn that the spare tire in the trunk also has a monitor, and it detects low air pressure.

Now you drive around with the warning light on with no worries.

 

The blogger problems arise when you try and use a low tire as a metaphor.

It’s a writing problem everyone faces whenever they find a solution.

“I don’t have a flat tire so there’s no problem. But if I do have a flat tire, and flat spare? That’s a problem.”

A sharp writer turns this around in their brain while they try to understand normal human response.

So driving around is no problem, even when you know there’s a problem. But the problem won’t arise unless there’s another problem.

Now it’s two problems? It’s raining and dark. Three problems?

And you’re on the side of a freeway to make it four problems.

 

An Authentic Take

Car problems can be blogger problems, but who can make anything more of a car problem so mundane as a low pressure spare?

Call it a future problem you can solve today.

That’s the Call To Action: Fix today what might break tomorrow.

 

“But Blogger D, it’s more complicated than you think.”

 

Everything is more complicated than I think because I focus on the near future and how to make it better for others.

Am I really all of that? No, I’m not.

This morning my dog barked me awake like someone was trying to break-in.

The only other time the dog woke me up was when something was trying to break out.

She had an upset tummy ten times in one night and woke me to go out.

Not this time. Even though she barked like a delivery guy was parked outside, I doubted anyone was there.

But I still jumped up like a startled deer to look around.

 

Wife: Did you see anything?

Me: Nothing.

Wife: Why didn’t you take the dog with you.

Me: She’s up here protecting you just like I was doing down there.

Wife: Protecting me?

Me: You’ve got two guard dogs.

Wife: What are you doing now?

Me: Time to get up with the dog alarm.

Wife: It’s too early.

Me: Not for the early bird. Do you feel like an early bird?

Wife: No.

The authentic take?

Why did I go out into the dark without a weapon of self-defense?

Because I’m waiting for the right time to take someone down and tap them out MMA style.

And what if they had a weapon?

That’s another problem.

 

Blogger Problems: No Weapons

The pen is a mighty weapon.

Blogger problems occur when writers forget.

Is the pen mightier than the blade hanging over your head?

Mightier than the noose around your neck, the gun barrel against your temple?

Writers and bloggers don’t need a threat when they make up their own.

No one listens, no one reads, no one cares? No one? Are you writing or puttering around?

There’s an old adage about architecture students and the first house they build.

 

In any case, it’s fair to say that houses for parents, especially mothers, hold a celebrated place in architectural history – there’s even a book about it.

 

As long as you’ve got family and friends, you’ve got an audience?

Thomas Wolfe said his town hated him for including them in his first big book, then complained that they weren’t in his second big book.

Shit-post about family and see how it goes.

They may claim to not know who you are, never met you.

The blogger problems multiply.

But you know your story and whether or not to stick to it.

If you’re being hurtful, start over.

You’re lost? Start over.

Go into a dark house and find someone who doesn’t belong there?

What’s the plan?

Be sure to write about it.