50 SHADES OF GONORRHEA NOTHING TO CLAP ABOUT

Books That Could Make Baby Boomers Act Out.

via geoffcocanower.com

From the Daily Mail:

A rise in sexually transmitted diseases among older couples could have been caused by the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey effect’, a top doctor has warned.

Dr. Charlotte Jones said the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy has led to older couples being more adventurous in bed and could explain a rise in sexually transmitted infections among the over-50s.

The film based on the best-selling erotic novels is due for release on Valentine’s Day next year with Jamie Dornan in the role of billionaire Christian Grey.

It wasn’t a how-to, or do-it-yourself book. Not a cookbook, or connect-the-dots book. If it lit a fire in England’s aging boomers, it’s headed this way just like Beatlemania.

What other books could have the same effect from their topics?

AARP released a list of favorite boomer books. What happens if readers take action on their topics?

The World According To Garp.

Learn to wrestle, write, and cheat on your wife? It turned me into a big John Irving fan. I’ve learned to wrestle and write, and since I don’t need a new itch, I’m skipping the last one.

The Joy Of Sex.

Wouldn’t you think this one would create more problems than 50 Shades? Not from the illustrations. A Sears catalogue was more exciting.

Slaughterhouse Five. 

Learn to time-travel with a stripper? Continue at your own risk. Wonderful author in Kurt Vonnegut Jr. who sent me on a reading binge of his work.

Fahrenheit 451.

Learn to burn books? One great uncle wrote an autobiography of his junk and gave it to family members. My Grandma burned her copy. Lesson learned.

Roots.

Learn genealogy? Without Roots it’s hard to say if Djang0 Unchained, or Twelve Years A Slave would have been possible. Mandingo was already in the field.

Catch-22.

Learn how to make the most of your time like Lt. Dunbar. Live longer by being around the most boring people and places you can find. Time will drag by.

The Catcher In The Rye.

Learn how to drop out of sight wearing a goofy hat, then face life anew.

Boomerpdx add-ons:

The Great Gatsby.

Learn how to hold onto your dreams, just not as tight as Jay.

One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.

Learn how to talk back to authority and get your brain shocked, then scrambled.

Getting back to 50 Shades and Dr. Charlotte Jones’ theory, people need to communicate their communicable problems before hitting the river of no return. Nothing says failure like a phone call from a clinic that asks for the name of everyone you’ve dated in the past six months.

With a reputation as swell as Typhoid Mary, or Harry, you won’t be dating much in the future. Try and avoid the notion that since you’re infected with an STD, no one else matters.

Imagine a proper boomer-aged English lady swept away in the thrill of new found adventure on the old playground only to discover she’s contracted more than a warm, fuzzy, feeling.

Dr. Jones revealed doctors are starting to see more cases of gonorrhoea and syphilis along with more common thrush and chlamydia.

“She said: ‘I would always advise anyone who has got any symptoms to get them checked out, whether at a GUM clinic where they can be anonymous or with their GP.

‘Do not be embarrassed, we have seen it all before, it cannot come as a surprise to us.’

Listen to doctor. Don’t be the dance partner who says, “I didn’t know.”

Be safe.