GAINING CONFIDENCE, losing confidence

The thing about confidence, gaining confidence, is making it personal.

Something bothers you until you do something about it, then it doesn’t bother you. As much.

Whether you fixed a problem, or not, you did something.

That’s a win in the davidpdx book, blog, post, something.

It’s win.

I remember the day I made a decision that still sticks with me.

It was a soggy evening after football practice with a team that would lose most all of its games.

I was one of those nutty sophomores who wanted to start on the first team varsity and be a three year letterman.

But, the team was a loser and I couldn’t do anything about it.

I had a strained shoulder from an awkward tackle in practice.

I’d started last week’s game against Cottage Grove with five rolls of tape holding my shoulder along with a strap on my wrist that connected to my shoulder pads through a hole punched in my jersey.

The tape held my arm on and the strap kept it from getting yanked off in case the tape failed.

The Friday night training staff in 1971 wasn’t as careful as the doctor on Monday and my season ended.

The team was a loser, now I was a loser too?

This is when other fifteen year olds might have said fuck it and gone into a spiral of self-destruction, cigarettes, coffee, and poetry.

Instead, I joined the wrestling team, the winningest wrestling team in the district, the sport that strains even the strongest shoulders.

We were a basketball family with a basketball dad and a basketball big brother.

Except the high school basketball program seemed on the same track as football, with the built-in excuse of being a small town with a small enrollment playing against the big schools in Eugene.

The wrestling team didn’t need an excuse rolling from one district championship to the next, with expectations of more each year.

That alone was a confidence builder.

 

Gaining Confidence With Accomplished People

Maybe you’ve heard about being judged by the company you keep?

While it’s not fair to be judged by strangers at all, being lumped in with the crowd seems most unfair.

There you are being unique, being an individual, convinced that your unique individuality is some kind of super power, only to learn that you’re a demographic, a small, tiny, part.

You’re stuck in a baby boomer slot, a millennial slot, and every slot that follows you from birth to death.

Somewhere there’s a buttoned-down actuary who can tell you more about your future than an old gypsy woman with a crystal ball.

Which one are you gaining confidence with?

You’ve got a DNA test that tells you what you’re made of, and a family medical history.

Which one fills you with confidence?

You remember people who put you down so they could feel better?

If you’ve found yourself in a similar situation and gone the other way, you are gaining confidence.

More than that, you are building confidence in others, and that’s not nothing.

 

The Story Of Confidence

I’ll help Leo with an update:

All great literature is about a man on a journey who passes through towns where he is a stranger.

In other words, Jack Reacher?

If you’re lucky enough to live where you grew up you’ve met the strangers who’ve come to town; if not, you’ve been the stranger on a journey.

I still feel like the stranger in the town I’ve lived in for the past thirty-five years.

While it sounds like a long time to someone in their twenties, or thirties, they’ll see it differently in their sixties and seventies.

That’s why it’s important to build a foundation of self-confidence in the youngsters.

Be the stranger others are glad to meet, glad to include, until you’re no longer a stranger; be the man on a journey who gathers wisdom and knowledge to share with people unsure of themselves.

Be an inspiration with an honest effort, sound judgement, and a good word for others along the way.

Do that and your path will be paved with thanks.

If not . . .

 

PS:

Who will tell the story of the great man who was never satisfied, who ended up losing everything they’d gained, along with everyone else on the gravy train?

PSS:

Who will tell the story of a man with accumulation sickness, where enough is never enough, until too much crushes them?