SELF DEFENSE WITH THE PROPER MOVES

Self defense?

I’ve never taken a class, but I encourage anyone to do it.

Learn how to find a solution to a difficult problem.

How much is too much? How far is too far? Where to start?

In my mid to late teens I was a small town high school wrestler.

You know the type. Scrappy, easy to rile, makes everything more important than it actually was.

I’m not remembering it like that, but maybe I’ve got a memory lapse?

Anyhoo, I went to the same tournaments as everyone else, maybe a few more.

My first year I won 6th in state for Greco-Roman wrestling at 180 lbs.

My last year I won first in district, first in state for Greco-Roman wrestling at 190 lbs, and sixth in freestyle.

This is a picture of the medal stand. I pinned the second place guy in the first round.

Earlier in the year he’d placed second in state for Folk Style, or collegiate wrestling, losing a close decision to the great Bielenberg.

I’d gone to the same state meet in Corvallis as a district champ, choked, lost my first two matches, and was out.

I watched the finals between the last two guys in my 191 weight class.

They looked like grown men in an open tournament. I wouldn’t have stood a chance against them.

But, things happen.

I pinned the silver medalist and faced the great Bielenberg that same summer in the National Junior Greco Roman Championship in Iowa.

We tied 3 – 3 in the round robin finals and I lost to the second place guy he beat. By one point. For third place and all-America status, which was disappointing for years, but I got over it.

This is to say I felt pretty good about self defense.

 

What About Defending Others?

I found a man punching a woman in a Portland bus stop kiosk.

In my NW neighborhood.

Even though I was across the street, I couldn’t let it go.

So I stopped the beating and got punched in the face for my effort.

The scar on my arm came from a poorly used chop saw; the one on my nose is from the glasses he punched into my face, that fell on the sidewalk and got stepped on.

Grrrr. I stopped the beating and I feel good about that, even though the woman told the police her slugger boyfriend was defending her against me.

The guy was maybe 5’4″.

 

As a civic minded citizen, here I am defending a woman in danger of snake attack.

The snake is about twelve feet long.

 

 

There are times in life when you feel called to act, called to action.

A woman taking body blows? Yes.

A snake on the loose? Is it a friendly snake?

Should you wear a mask when you save the day?

You could.

 

 

No masks, but if you do, these are the proper masks to wear.

 

Self Defense On A Larger Scale

As a traveling man with a traveling wife, I’m on the lookout.

For what? For the unusual, for the tell, for the ‘how did you not see that coming.’

My travel goals are pretty simple: Get back home in one piece.

Some may say my goal takes away from the enjoyment of places like Paris and London, world capitals of the west.

They’re probably right, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be on the look-out.

So far so good with the old bulldog.

 

I had a European friend who liked to say he could walk through any slum, any ghetto, and have no problems even though he was a big white man.

It was his European accent that took him off the hook.

It got me thinking, ‘I could do that.’

So I walked from Center City Philadelphia (downtown) to South Philly where I lived at the time.

I followed the same route as the bus I rode. I knew the neighborhood, saw the people, and took a walk.

About fifteen minutes in I noticed four big black guys on the other side of the street keeping up with my pace.

They kicked it in and two blocks later crossed the street to my side and waited for me on the corner.

Here we go, I thought. Would I have to fight them all?

 

Guy1: What do you think you’re doing here?

Guy2: Yeah.

Guy3: Who do you think you are?

Guy4: Yeah.

 

You know, I was asking myself the same question.

Now what? Be a tough guy and talk shit to the fellas?

I could see the headlines in the Inquirer: UNIDENTIFIED MAN BADLY BEATEN.

This is when my Hungarian buddy would have opened his mouth and set everything at ease with his accent.

This is when I opened my mouth and let fly with my best Monte Python accent.

 

Me: Ooooh, hellooo. Thank you so much for asking because I’m moving from England, you know Great Britain and the Queen and all and heard this is the most wonderful neighborhood in the city where we shall all be neighbors so if you have the time and I dearly wish you do and you could perhaps show me around because the people I talked to wouldn’t come help me the silly wankers so what say you, shall we take a peek about.

 

I set everything at ease with enthuuuusiasm, smiling, and good will.

They thought I was a foreign kook. Maybe it was my nodding like a bobble head while I spoke?

They seemed disappointed I wasn’t someone trying to prove a point by setting foot on their turf, and I don’t blame them.

I was raised right. I know turf.

In late grade school a friend and I found a raft on the bank of a local pond and pushed off.

Once we got out in the middle of the water some older kids came out of the woods and said it was their raft and they’d kick our ass for taking it.

So we faked them by poling the raft to the opposite side of the trail we’d come in on.

As older kids ran toward where we were headed, we threw it into reverse, pushed those poles like crazy, jumped out and ran away.

Part of self defense is avoiding trouble sooner than later.

 

No Avoiding Trouble When Surrounded

If you find yourself surrounded by stuffies, just give up.

If some grandkid decides you’re the one?

You. Are. The. One.

If you have any doubts, fuggitaboutit.

You don’t want them siccing the dog on you.

Just give her the special word, she’s ready.

 

 

What’s the special word for troublesome people?

Be helpful, lean on your training, and follow your conscience.

What if you’ve never learned how to be helpful, are poorly trained, and have no conscience?

Then what?

 

PS: Learn how to be helpful to others.

 

PSS: When people die at the hands of a government agency designed to serve and protect, be cautious with your feelings.

Unless you know the lady killed in Minnesota, or saw the news of her death, or live in America, then be assured that motherf, er, people, with a ‘f that bitch’ mentality, er, mistaken, will find justice for their poor attitude, poor judgement, and their poor training.