BE DIFFERENT, BUT HOW DIFFERENT

Be different, be better, be something.

Just not the old coot where every day is the ol’ same ol’.

It’s not the same, day after day, and neither are you no matter how you try.

Why not be stable and dependable?

That’s different enough.

After long reflection and review, I’ve come to one conclusion:

I’m not the problem.

You too may come to the same conclusion.

So, what’s the problem?

Maybe you feel like you’re not doing enough, that you don’t fit in with the modern world we live in.

If that’s the case, congratulations.

Fitting in is more a young person’s problem.

They want to fit in, be a part of it all.

An online presence is the most important thing in their lives? That’s one measure, but it depends on others recognizing their contributions.

So they tap into controversial subjects and develop an opinion.

That’s nice. You like the company every time you go online, and some folks are always online, or on somewhere, something.

 

Once I was in a car cruising lower Manhattan on a summer day.

We stopped at a light and got swarmed by guys with rags and windex washing car windows.

The first time it happened felt like a zombie-attack.

The driver was unconcerned.

The second time I was unconcerned. The window washers worked for donations. It was normal behavior for that time and place.

Big city living on the edge of failure.

I didn’t see myself doing it down the line, but maybe if I’d stuck it out and things went from bad to worse?

Not that different.

 

Be Different, Not A Difference Maker

I heard a question recently from a friend who asked, “Why do you two stay married?”

It came up after a fat-shaming episode where one of us had tried on a some beautiful sweaters and shirts. (Hey B&P.)

Married people who fat-shame one another? Who does that?

Maybe it wasn’t classic fat-shaming, like, “What happened to you?”

Either way I had a gut reaction, which prompted the question. I went with my gut feeling.

Without a standard answer during a slight disturbance, there’s no good answer, but the idea of asking such a question stuck with me.

Why do I stay married? Why does anyone stay married?

Maybe to just be different.

Wifey had a friend who used to visit and say, “I love coming to see you. It reminds me of why I didn’t get married.”

She said the same thing about our kids. “I love visiting because it makes me glad I didn’t get married or have kids.”

The woman who asked about it yesterday deserved a better answer than she got, so:

We stay married because we like doing the work.

Work?

Yes, work, as in working together to be better than we were yesterday.

 

Yesterday was a fashion show of pulling sweaters on and off, each time making an effort to get my t-shirt to ride up my gut a little more.

On a good day my wife might think it’s funny, my kind of funny.

I thought it was funny until the fat-shame part.

There’s fat, which usually doesn’t call for fat-shaming, but here we are.

Pro-tip: Fat-shame the right way, or you might get a ‘why do you stay married’ question.

The working answer is Love, Loyalty, and Leeway. Triple L.

 

The Real Answer

Like many baby boomers in the era, my parents got a silver anniversary divorce.

Things happened, things changed, and so did their marriage.

I knew at the time the the family gravity had just been released; there was no center.

That’s what happens with adult kids, they drift.

Or maybe it’s just me, a drifter.

Except I’m not a drifter.

 

I am better everyday and this blog is evidence.

If you were a writer you’d be better, too, then you’d be a baby boomer blogger.

Triple B to go with the Triple L.

Getting married is one thing, but staying married?

Staying married is an important way to be different after going through all the trouble of getting married.

After a year, a decade, two decades, three decades, we’ve got gravity along with our orbiting satellites.

Why stay married? What’s your excuse? Gravity? Respect for the institution?

 

PS: If you have a sketchy time with your wife, you still get to make up the next day.

 

PSS: A sketchy time with anyone else is a different deal.

 

(Me: Honey, we’re on the same side, the same page, so why not try and be agreeable, like me.

Her: Oh, that’s what this is, agreeable?

Me: Let’s start there.)