THE ART AND CRAFT OF DODGING RESPONSIBILITIES

Dodging responsibilities for a picture is not what my pal Bill Shonley and I do.

He’s met a ton of people so getting a shot was no big deal.

To him; it was a big deal to me.

It’s one of my favorites.

We’re both Blazers fans, though I’ve cooled off since Big Red took them All, The, Way, in 1977.

Not getting a shot with him would have been dodging responsibilities for the greater good.

Shonz was his regular self mingling among the crowd at the MAC.

Why was I there? Every gathering needs an enterprising blogger looking for their next story.

What was Bill’s story? I don’t know, but he looked good and sounded just like he did on TV.

Speaking of looking good and sounding good, this was from yesterday with Roy Pittman.

I haven’t noticed, but it looks like I’m getting in there with iconic Portland.

There’s the picture of me next to Portland mayor Vera Katz’ statue, me shaking hands with Mayor Hales, the blurred shot with Senator Mark Hatfield, me and the umbrella guy in Pioneer Square.

I’m over here just adding loads to the local culture.

One addition that won’t make the headlines:

R.I.P. CITY: Another 70 Year Old Man Rushed To Hospital After Ignoring Wive’s Request Not To Ride Bike Without A Helmet

 

Oh, The Places We’ll Go

Dodging responsibilities today is easier than ever for baby boomers.

“Responsibilities? What responsibilities. I’m responsible.”

But we forget, or we don’t forget, and blame it on our advanced years.

“Oops, I didn’t pay my taxes for ten years because of a senior moment.”

As they say in the sports highlights, “That’s some moment.”

You won’t get that around here, and here’s why: responsibilities.

Toward that end, I bought a new bike. If anything will keep you responsible, it’s a new bike.

First thing my wife said was, “If you fall off and hit your head I’m not taking care of you. I’m not the caregiver, you are.”

To which I responded in classic playground comeback style: “No, you are.”

As if she’s dodging responsibilities by leaving me in the ditch after I crash. Sure, honey.

 

Wife: When was the last time you rode a bike?

Me: Not long ago.

Wife: It was in Belgium.

Me: Everyone rides in Bruges.

Wife: Not everyone crashes, but you did.

Me: Thank you, dear. You’re the wind beneath my wings.

 

The night I put my new bike together with my near-expert knowledge, along with my kid on FaceTime, then stood back and admired my new beauty.

I could hear Shonz on the call, “Bingo, Bango, Bongo.”

 

Everything But Ride

Here she is. Such a good girl.

I had some grapefruit seltzer and vodka with a squirt of lime juice to help the build.

It may have helped me put the handlebars on backwards.

The seat has a lever for the riser, so as long as I lower it I won’t have to Fosbury Flop my way on and off.

It’s a trail bike with big, nobby, tires and way low gears with only one small sprocket in front.

I’ll need to take an Allen wrench with me in case I get a flat front tire since it’s not quick release.

The trails I’ll ride are the paved hills around my house.

I’ve walked them all, now for a change up. The bike also has big brakes for the downhill part.

So picture yourself with a new bike, a light buzz, and a clear night over a smooth empty street.

Why not take it for a spin? Come on.

I walked it around, I stood over it, then put it to bed before I turned in.

The next day, yesterday, I bought a helmet, took an uncomfortable ride, changed the handlebars around with the forks pointing the right way, and I’m off.

My big ride goal: take a lap around downtown Portland over the Willamette River on the Tilikum Crossing, down the Eastside Esplanade, across the river on the Steel Bridge, up Tom McCall Waterfront Park and back to the starting point.

I’ll do it with a riding partner and safety as job one. Fun without being reckless.

I’m not dodging responsibilities if I want my wife to sleep well at night.

Right, honey? Honey, where are you?

I heard The Shonz on the call:

At least it’s not an e-Bike that goes forty miles an hour and will launch you so far and land so hard you’ll break both collar bones.

 

PS: After warming up, keep riding.

PSS: Always wear a helmet. As if you need to be told.

You do? Fine:

ALWAYS WEAR A HELMET!

How’d that do ya?