LIFE AWARD TO GIVE YOURSELF

A life award usually comes to celebrities and dignitaries after decades of service, a lifetime of devotion, or a string of good luck.

Community awards go to involved citizens, like the guy doing public service in the picture.

What says ‘ Come To Portland’ better than snuggling up to the law?

Always keep goods relations with the local constabulary.

If you’ve never been arrested, and you’re beyond the age of peak criminal activity, you deserve an award.

I might be disqualified. You tell me.

Sophomore year in high school I got a ride home after football practice.

It was a light blue mustang. (Hey Gary)

I got the back seat.

We made one stop on the way to pick up some pop.

Did I know it was wrong to stop in the back of Pony Village Payless and load a few cases of off-brand soda into the trunk from unsecured pallets?

My fifteen year old brain said, ‘Hey, I’m in the back seat as an innocent bystander,’ and cracked a quart of Cragmont.

A few days later an undercover detective snagged me at a JV football game, clamped my arm, and marched me out like a criminal.

My dad was in the stands and saw this three hundred pound behemoth executing due process in front of a football crowd.

Out of the stands he came, intercepting the police work before we made it out of the stadium.

It was a special moment where I got to hear my old man fight the power.

Up until then I’d never paid much attention to his background from rural Washington to the Marine Corps to small town dad.

The way he spoke to my captor made me wonder who the heck he really was.

We went back to the stadium. Along the way I explained what had had happened.

All I knew was I had an advocate.

He got the life award for good parenting that night.

 

Life Award For Proximity

If you win an NBA championship you get to hold the trophy, the Larry O’Brien trophy.

So obviously I’m an NBA champ?

That’s the O’Brien in my hands, so I must be.

Or, given the gloves, I’m a museum guy on the job protecting a priceless artifact.

If you’ve never dropped an important object, and you’re past thirty, you deserve a life award.

I may be disqualified. You tell me.

As a young museum man I took a staff person with me to retrieve a statue for an exhibit.

It was the Hoogstraten bust on a tall base.

In the museum world you meet a lot of people perfectly suited for working inside a dark musty closet, whose eyes aren’t used to the sunlight.

The man we met to pick up the piece was a shadowy example.

He started explaining life in the orchestra, telling us how we’d never understand, yet didn’t stop talking.

We picked up the statue and followed him while he rambled.

About five steps in the head popped off. That was the part I had just held.

My assistant on the base held it while the Hoogstraten head elevated and I did my best centerfielder impression under it.

The man in front kept walking and talking while we played pepper with a melon.

I trapped the head with my trusted Willie Mays basket catch and put it back on the stand.

We went the rest of the way out of the Schnitzer to Broadway on a dolly.

 

An Award For Persistence 

Call it the Bruce Springsteen Life Award.

In an interview with him and Stevie Van they were talking about their younger days in music, both agreeing that that was all they knew how to do.

Bruce: We refused to do anything else.

Does that sound familiar? A kid who refuses to do anything that interferes with their time doing what they want to do?

Or does the sound like every kid who ever set foot in a house with a dad who wants the best for them?

I’ve heard it’s a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll.

 

Gettin’ robbed, gettin’ stoned
Gettin’ beat up, broken boned
Getting had, getting took
I tell you folks, it’s harder than it looks

Gettin’ old, gettin’ gray
Gettin’ ripped off, underpaid
Gettin’ sold, second-hand
That’s how it goes, playin’ in a band

 

You too can receive the Bruce Life Award if you play that guitar, write that story, and put it all together in the face of adversity.

Do you know adversity? I think so.

You chose to do something out of the ordinary and got good at it on your own.

From kettle bells to mountain bikes to pull-ups to stable weight, if you stay ready you can do anything.

If you stay ready you will always be able to do more than you think.

I’ll be picking up my Bruce Award later this week.

Ever since I called BoomerPdx an award winning blog the awards have been flying in.

I’d like to thank my loyal readers, my wife, my dog, and everyone I ever met that made me think, ‘What is their problem?’

Keep an eye out and you might find your own solutions.