CAVIAR DREAMS, CHAMPAGNE WISHES

My caviar dreams started when I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas.

I wasn’t going to make the same mistake when I’ve asked before and she said, “Nothing.”

Hearing nothing is not a good reason to get loved ones nothing on their birthdays or Christmas.

When a wife says, “Nothing,” what they mean is you should already know without asking.

You should know? I should know?

Me: What would you like for Christmas?

Wife: Caviar.

Me: Caviar?

Wife: Yes, caviar.

Me: We’re having a caviar Christmas?

Wife: Do you know where to find some?

Me: I don’t want to ruin the surprise. I’ll ask around.

 

Ask The Fish Guys At New Seasons

Let your caviar dreams run wild. I did.

I never dreamed there would be so many choices.

Then again I’ve never bought caviar.

With so many choices I decided to go with cribbage theory when you throw cards in your opponents kitty.

I bought one salmon and one sturgeon, one high and one low.

The party braced for exciting caviar dreams.

Me: What do we do with caviar. Maybe we need a class?

Wife: Or we can show some class and figure it out.

Me: Sounds like a plan to me.

 

Showing Class

 

Some people hold this delicacy in low regard, giving it names like ‘fish bait.’

Not me. I’m an adventurous eater.

I once used a Lua pig’s crispy ear to scoop its eye out like chip and dip; I ordered octopus in a super luxury resort and instead of octopus pieces in a pretty arrangement, like I expected, they brought out the whole octopus.

Then what?

That’s the same question I asked myself about caviar. It started to look like a nightmare.

A nightmare that grew darker by the scroll.

Me: Does $11,000 sound like a lot to spend on caviar?

Me: Who the hell buys eleven thousand dollar caviar?

Me: Oh.

 

For those new to caviar, King suggested trying half a teaspoonful on top of a little crème fraîche spread on a warm blini, or adding a small amount of caviar to a soft-boiled egg for breakfast. You could try it on French bread too, “something that’s soft and subtle,” King said.

If you’re serving caviar for people to help themselves to, do so “in a crystal or glass bowl over ice,” King said in a company blog post, and use a mother-of-pearl spoon. “Serving caviar with silver utensils is a sin, as the metal adversely affects the flavour of this delicacy,” King added.

 

Figuring Out Caviar Dreams 

After my successful calculations, orders, and caviar sampling, I took a moment to reflect.

Was it more about caviar, or about our guest who baked a batch of Yorkshire Pudding?  Hey, Phyllis.

When you gather experienced cooks together, food magic happens.

It all cast a caviar dream-spell over me and I needed to sit down for a dose of reality.

Reality in this throne?

 

 

Like everything else, caviar dreams are all different.

Do this, not that?

You’re doing it wrong?

No, you’re not.

‘Just dig in’ sounds like the right move to me, unless you’ve got Phyllis’s Yorkshire Pudding.

Then you need to savor the moment the taste buds say, “Yes, I’ll have another please.”

What’s your caviar dream and champagne wish?

Robin and I are listening.