READING BOOKS IS A PROBLEM?

Why is reading books a problem?

Because people read the wrong books.

But what’s the difference between the right book and the wrong book?

Jimmy knows, so let’s ask Jimmy:

Me: Hey Jimmy, whatcha reading?

Jimmy: The usual. Everything.

Me: Anything good?

Jimmy: Just bought a new book to read.

Me: That’s great. What did you get?

Jimmy: It cost thirty dollars.

Me: Is that a lot?

Jimmy: It’s a first edition.

Me: What a deal. How far along are you?

Jimmy: I’ve been on the first page for a week.

Me: First page? Is it on half a page?

Jimmy: It is. The lower half.

Me: Has it been a good week?

Jimmy: I know what you’re saying. One half page a week is slow, slow, slow.

Me: But you’re not slow.

Jimmy: I’m not. But I’m taking a new approach. I’ve read that writers take more time on their first page than any other page. So I’m taking more time on the first page, too.

Me: Makes sense. What are you looking for?

Jimmy: I used to go to movies at the halfway mark so I could stay for the first half to see if I figured out what was going on. My new reading style is to guess what happens in the book based on the first half-page.

Me: And . . . ?

Jimmy: I’ll have more to say after I finish.

Those Darn Books

When I was a younger man I worked around middle-aged guys who had the world figured out.

What they’d figured out was I was the newest idiot in their lives.

“What do you even know about life? Everything you’ve learned is from reading books.”

That was a memorable insult.

“I don’t know why you spend your time reading books when you could be doing more important things.”

That came from a saw mill lifer who’d followed the timber from Georgia to the midwest to Oregon.

He told me he’d been working in mills his whole life except during the Big One where he was stationed in HowAreYa.

I read more books than guys I didn’t want to end up like. Did it work? So far, so good.

You could try it too. First find someone you know but don’t want to model your life after.

Ask them what they’re reading, tell them what you’re reading, and talk it out.

Do that and you’re book people. If you’ve never done that then you’d be beginning book people.

Reading Books? Which Ones?

I picked up a book in Costco for ten dollars.

Hemingway short stories linked to the Ken Burns documentary.

I’m slow reading like Jimmy.

Referring to himself as “Papa,” Ernest Hemingway strived to be an expert on everything. This desire to be knowledgeable on all subjects was often reflected in his writing, especially as he sought to master nonfiction and hoped to pass forward his learnings to others.

A man in his fifties likes to be called ‘Papa’ and he’s an expert on everything.

Why does this ring a bell here?

The Shit Talking Hall of Fame is full of people who thought they were just giving an opinion.

Their opinion takes on more weight when it includes finger pointing and unwarranted blame and accusations.

Then what?

I explain it like this:

Me: Shit talkers don’t always know they’re talking shit because it’s how they’ve talked all their lives and no one has corrected them.

Shit Talker: I’m not talking shit.

Me: Then you don’t know what shit talking is. What it is is . . .

ST: I know what shit talking is is, or whatever you’re trying to say.

Me: For example, that’s shit talk.

ST: No it isn’t.

Me: Shit talkers can’t listen, and if they could they wouldn’t because it gets in the way of their shit talk.

ST: So what are you, a shit talk expert?

Was Hemingway a shit talking expert?

He had to wear his friends out.

But what’s wrong with trying to pass down everything you’ve learned to others?

Boomerpdx is my educational platform for those who see something and ask, “So what?”

That’s what writers do, what they hope to do, give an answer to ‘So what.’

I’m with those damn writers on this.

What are you reading?