TALKING BACK? DON’T BACKTALK ME SON

Talking back is a right and a privilege, but it comes with a caveat:

It may not be as appreciated as you’d hope.

The great Randy Johnson said it well with:

“I don’t care who you are, don’t get in my face!” the 6-10 Johnson snapped at one point as they brushed past the cameraman. “Don’t get in my face, and don’t talk back to me, all right?”

But too many people engage in talking back without regard to consequences.

The Shit Talking Hall of Fame is full of people who thought they were just giving an opinion.

Their opinion takes on more weight when it includes finger pointing and unwarranted blame and accusations.

Then what?

I explain it like this:

Me: Shit talkers don’t always know they’re talking shit because it’s how they’ve talked all their lives and no one has corrected them.

Shit Talker: I’m not talking shit.

Me: Then you don’t know what shit talking is. What it is is . . .

ST: I know what shit talking is is, or whatever you’re trying to say.

Me: For example, that’s shit talk.

ST: No it isn’t.

Me: Shit talkers can’t listen, and if they could they wouldn’t because it gets in the way of their shit talk.

ST: So what are you, a shit talk expert?

Talking Back To Drill Sergeants? Good Luck

Army recruiters in 1974 assured everyone about The New Army.

It was a welcoming Army, a caring Army to nurture hopes and dreams and aspirations of the New Soldier.

Some guys even believed it. How? I don’t know.

To me the Drill Sergeants were ass kickers extraordinaire. At least that was my hope and dream.

Did I need my ass kicked? Who doesn’t? Shit talkers.

One nice autumn day the company was scheduled for a force march up the fire breaks on Fort Ord.

Sounds fun even now.

Some of the guys weren’t up to it and dropped in their tracks.

The rule of the day is if anyone dropped out there’d be no leave for the weekend for anyone.

A guy in front of me dropped and I stopped to help him up and push him up the steep hill.

But he dropped again.

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I looked back and saw the group of Drill Sergeant’s coming up and left my guy to them.

Once I caught up with the group I took a last look back to see one Drill kneeling and screaming at the guy’s head while the others put a boot on him.

Next thing I know the dropped guy is running past me in what I saw as a terrorized face of fear.

Whatever he heard back there sunk in, and I didn’t want to ever know what it was.

The main thing was saving the weekend leave.

Just before I was ready to drop we all got a break so the Senior Drill Sergeant could make fun of us for drinking water while he smoked a cigarette.

After a short time it was back on the trail.

Everyone lined up except one guy, and not the one who’d dropped.

I’d been around this guy and knew he was confident and able, but didn’t know he’d challenge Boot Camp authority.

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Drill Sergeant: Fall in.

Carl: I don’t have to.

DS: I said FALL IN.

Carl: I have my rights.

DS: You have the right to drag your maggot ass over to the rest of your shit pile company and FALL THE FUCK IN.

Carl: My mom knows a congressman.

DS: Your mom? Know a congressman? Now it all makes sense. That changes everything.

Carl: I’m calling her today.

DS: You’re going to call mommy? And report a big mean drill sergeant?

Carl: Yes.

DS: Then let’s make sure you have something important to report.

The trainee was sitting down like he was on a sit down strike when the conversation started.

Then the Drill Sergeant lifted him to his feet by the front of his shirt.

He swore at the guy and slapped his face, swore and slapped, then swore and slapped once more for good measure.

I watched and thought, ‘This is the motherfucking Army bad ass moment to remember.’

DS: Now FALL IN you weaselly little bitch before I bury your ass right here and mark it so your mom can visit. FALL IN.

The guy joined the rest of us and became a model soldier, a quiet soldier in The New Army.

Talking Back Lessons Learned Early vs Late

The sooner you learn about talking back the better.

Why? Because the older you get the more feelings you have to hurt when you get corrected.

Adults don’t like being corrected? Now that’s a hot take.

I learned some lessons early because of sports.

Early flag football felt like a marauding hoard chasing someone with the ball.

Basketball was confusing because where do you stand and who do you guard?

Checking into a game felt like an ordeal in grade school.

No, I didn’t catch on right away and got corrected the first time.

I got corrected the second time, the third time.

There may have been some coaching frustration mixed in, but I eventually caught on.

Getting yelled at by coaches was part of the drill as far as I could tell.

That was their part for better or worse. My part was following their directions.

Try that with your friends today and you might find fewer friends.

But you can see how many missed the sports training when you give Portland Oregon a look.

Baby boomers grew up in a different culture where smoking weed was dangerous, where one weed seed meant legal trouble.

Now days?

Who is getting the proper correction?

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Early sports training includes dealing with the urge to backtalk along with the physical aspects.

The teacher/coaches took gangly uncoordinated kids and schooled them in the proper base, balance, and posture.

Every sports season of the year brought new games that used new muscles, but the basics still applied across the board.

With focus, effort, and energy little kids grow up and get better at playing games.

They take pride in their accomplishments, their early coaches take credit, and the rest of their lives they benefit from the early sports training:

Learn your position, learn more than one position, play hard and keep your mouth shut.

If you have something you need to say do it with respect and sportsmanship to the game.

You may be a big deal on your street, in your town, but it’s a big world out there.

Find where you best fit with useful back talking and above average participation.

Try not to say, like the Big Unit, “Don’t get in my face, and don’t talk back to me, all right?”

People will get in your face and run their mouths.

You can do better than that.

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