ACADEMY AWARD FOR BEST MOVIE PALS

The past January I’ve been on an Academy Award sprint to see the movies nominated. Or at least a few of them.

I started with 1917. My group had it all figured out. We would meet at the theater and go from there.

It was a perfect plan except for one thing:

1917 wasn’t opening until next week. I didn’t check because I was with experts who don’t tolerate a missed date. But they did, so we made other plans.

Ordinarily the plans would include talking about it over a few beers. But it was dry January, so no drowning our sorrows.

Instead, we saw Uncut Gems with Adam Sandler playing the main jewel in the cast. It wasn’t 1917, but none of us had regrets. Was it Oscar worthy? Not according to The Academy.

But Adam Sandler did get rewarded, and gave a great acceptance speech at the Spirit Awards.

Afterwards, we decided on the time and place to see 1917: It was the day after I had my face hacked on, so I went to a war movie with a huge bandage on the side of my head. And fit right in.

Was 1917 Oscar worthy? Something important was missing, but none of us could put a finger on it.

Little Women Academy Award

This movie was nominated for the biggies, and won for Best Costume. I rooted for Little Women. Why?

Because the writer and director did a time shift that felt like a seamless transition. They gave us, the viewer, the benefit of being somewhat intelligent so we could figure things out and feel smart.

I like a movie that runs close to the edge and back. From obvious to obscure, I didn’t feel like Little Women needed interpretation by an English major.

Parasite Oscar Sweep

This movie was nominated for six Oscars, winning four. Four big ones for picture, director, original script, and foreign language film. It didn’t get one for production or editing, but no one complained.

Since I watched it on pay per view at home, I used my cable company. The strange thing was I couldn’t rent a view; I had to buy the movie. Now I’ve got Parasite forever? The something happened with Lala Land, so I’ve got two movies forever.

Sunday afternoon I had time for one more movie, but I skipped it. Some in the group watched Marriage Story. I had to make a big decision: watch a wrenching movie with some of my favorite actors talking nasty stuff at each other, or drink beer in my garage while I cleaned things up.

I’ll watch Marriage Story to monitor their nasty talk in case I get into an argument with my wife and she quotes the movie. Then I can quote back and we’ll have a big laugh.

Is there humor in jacked up people accusing others of ruining their life? About as much as the twenty year married couple breaking up, where the man says, “I never really loved you,” like he was faking it for two decades.

Give that man an Oscar in Tigardville

The last nominated film I saw, and this is out of order, was The Irishman. It was shut out on Oscar night with ten nominations.

If there’d been an Oscar for most close-ups of Robert DeNiro’s face, it would have won.

The best part of the Academy Award show? Best director winner Bong Joon Ho for Parasite giving credit to Martin Scorsese in his acceptance speech.

If they gave Oscars for acceptance speeches, this was the one. Or Adam Sandler’s from the other awards show. Okay, two Oscars.