CONNECTIONS: MCDONALDS HAND DRYER, WASHINGTON VOICES, FAST LAW

Hydro electric turbine

Connections?

They are what you hope for when you network at a gathering; what you hope for when you plug something into the wall and turn it on.

Personal connections, professional connections, electrical connections; they all ought to work if you follow the usual instructions.

Share something of value, listen for help, and flip the switch.

It’s that easy, right? And the results ought to be predictable?

Not so fast, rookie.

Connections To Dry Your Hands

Remember the alarming news about McDonald hand dryers blowing fecal matter out of them along with hot air? I didn’t expect that, but fortunately I wear absorbent cotton clothing to dry my hands on.

The media picked the story up and challenged everyone to be grossed out, more grossed out when the chain decided to add more bacon to everything.

But last I checked the hand dryer connections still blow. Maybe all of the news guys with time on their hands can get a grip on a shitty story?

While they’re investigating the poo shooters, focus on Washington DC and the words spewing forth from the big guys. I don’t call a politician’s speech hot air, and I don’t accuse anyone of being full of crap. As a blogger it’s my right to spew, but that’s not my style.

Based on the number of readers I generate I ought to be nasty and mean to fit the times, but I’m not that kind of writer. They’re out there, just not in here.

However, the past couple of years have began to change my mind with bots and fake news and lack of fact checking in mainstream media. One of the more interesting symbols of the time is the number of puppet noses added to each fact check attempt.

You know the puppet? Pinocchio.

McDonald’s Connections

One of the out of work writers with a big platform ought to take this up: when they cover an event where obvious lying takes place, don’t give a puppet nose, give a hand dryer, a shit spewing hand dryer to match the speech.

Really bad talk? Five hand dryers. One bad spot in a decent presentation? One hand dryer. If they apologize for the mistake remove the hand dryer.

Will it work? Shaming a professional person with hand dryer associations? It’s new, it might. Stranger things have happened.

For instance, remember when cell phones were new and everyone drove with the new distraction? Then the law changed. Fast. Lives and property were at stake and if you talk and drive now you get a ticket. Better have that seat belt buckled when you get pulled over, too.

Fast law worked to save lives, kid lives, adult lives, your life and mine.

Know what’s not a fast law that’s not saving lives? Gun laws. Mass shooters have rights, but so much after a mass shooting. After so many mass shootings the gun laws changed. Didn’t they?

Here’s why they should, and I’ll take questions: If you don’t want hot air spraying strange crap on you, dry your hands on your shirt after a stop inside a McDonald’s bathroom.

Your choice.

If you don’t want shit spewing leaders representing you in elected office, vote for a better candidate.

Again, your choice.

Choice is good in a free country, don’t you agree, whether it’s where to live, where to work, who to spend time with. We choose to be free. We’re free to choose how we treat our bodies in regard to smoking and drinking and eating and reproductive health.

At least that’s the idea, but more than a few opinions differ.

If you don’t want to end up a statistic in a mass shooting you can choose to stay away from schools, churches, malls, banks, concerts, movies, or any other place that welcomes more than just you. But that’s not a choice, as if you’ll stay home locked in your panic room.

What is a choice is changing gun laws to prevent goofy fuckers in a bad mood from sharing their disease.

Gun law won’t change fast like phone laws, but more people are making the connections between a bad attitude, gun availability, and innocent people who choose to see a movie, a service, a class, make a deposit, or go shopping.

No one chooses to be gunned down by surprise, no one makes those connections.

Take note the next time an elected official explains why gun laws have nothing to do with mass shootings. Have five hand dryers ready when their shit hits the fan.

Go ahead and plug it in.