YOUTH SPORTS, THE KEY TO GOOD BEHAVIOR

Youth sports are one of the best teachers this side of the classroom and real teachers.

Better than books, videos, and lectures, youth sports does one thing best of all: learning accountability.

Unfortunately, not all agree on the benefits of youth sports.

For example:

“I don’t want my kids exposed to jackass coaches who think every game is the championship they didn’t win as kids.”

Is this a real thing? Watch youth coaches in action for the best answer. Eventually you come to the only conclusion thinking people can come to.

Which is, “Be the change you see needed.”

I’ll interpret for the young parents in the room. Your kid is in kindergarten and you see a sign up sheet for a youth soccer league and think, ‘that sounds like a good idea.’

During the first Coach / Parent meeting, the person you entrust your kid’s athletic and emotional development to seems neither athletic or emotionally developed.

But it’s a meeting and they’ll be better with the team. Except they’re worse.

From poor organization, to misguided drills, to yelling all the time and shaming kids because they don’t understand, it gets worse.

And that’s on the first day.

Youth Sports Call For Coaches

After a season of listening to a fat man berate little kids for their effort, one decision awaits you: To coach, or not to coach?

Even if you are a fellow fat man, you know better than to chip on little kids learning their first game on their first team.

So you pick up the coaching whistle for the next season, the season after, and the season after that. You realize you could be coaching until your kid’s senior year in high school, at the least.

And it looks like fun, maybe more, maybe the best years of your life.

If that’s you, good, but the goal isn’t having the best years of your life, it’s setting the stage and clearing the path so kids have more to look forward to than some porky ogre yelling at them, telling them they’re not good enough, but giving no idea how to get better.

Youth Sports Sideline Parents

To be an effective youth sports coach, first know the competitive spirit, then connect it to good sportsmanship.

The key to good sportsmanship is being humble in victory and gracious in defeat. That’s it. Simple, right?

When the game is over and the scoreboard is turned off, that’s the signal to move on. Unless one of the player’s parents has a meltdown.

Then it gets complicated.

The parent pulls their kid out of the game because they’re unhappy with their performance. After the game they go after the coach, because it’s somebody’s fault their first grader isn’t a dominating superstar.

It’s the coach’s fault, the coach who has a kid on the same team, a coach who is doing the work to shield kids from people like this parent.

Who shields the parent? Where’s the team mom?

A good coach listens and explains, encourages and plans; they parent the parent because this is one who didn’t leave it all on the field in their playing days and they want their kid to pick it up.

How To Parent Parents

Make time for this talk after practice:

“Your athlete is at the beginning of a long relationship with sports, with competition. They might get better, they might not; they might be state champions, national champions, or they might peak this year with a trophy and a juice box.

“You help them see it by pointing out different sports they could be good at. Not good a soccer, but they can run all day? Think of Cross County and track.

“They don’t follow the ball, but like to bump into other players? They might be football players later.

“They’re good at catching and throwing the soccer ball? I see baseball and basketball skills waiting to develop.

“They seem strong and have good balance? They could be wrestlers.

“But if they hear you complain about them, complain about their teammate, their coaches, the uniforms, the weather, here’s what’s going to happen instead: they’ll want to make you happy by not playing anything because it makes you too upset.

“Instead of making it all about you, what you’d do, what you should have done, stay in season with your kid and join the coaches and other parents in how they respond to games and situations.

“When the team loses a game, remind them of the next game. If your kid had a shot and missed, remind them they’ll get another chance. Spend time with them and build their confidence by improving their skills. We get them a few hours a week, but if you do the same drills at home, the experience multiplies.

That Top Image Of Hood To Coast Relay

It shows four adults and a gaggle of eighth grade boys on a Hood To Coast team.

I got recruited because I knew the parents and kids from teams I coached over the years. And I’d talked about my marathon time of 3:32 for Seaside.

The boys wanted their old coach to show some grit, so I did.

They even gave me the honor of the final leg of the relay race, the part that includes running on the soft sand of the beach after a night of running two previous legs while stuck in a van eating Advil and beef jerky, drinking coffee and listening to eighth grade rap.

We also had a repeating video of the South Park movie.

A memorable night in every way. I loved it, hated it, and most everything in between, but I remember the kids and parents who took part best. My kids didn’t take part, and I’m still impressed that they stood up for themselves so early.

A look at the picture shows one guy so gassed that he can barely stand there with his red face.

Me.

While I was waiting for the handoff before starting the last leg, I watched competitive runners come and go, running like deer with big strides and feet above the ground. I waited.

My kid teammate rounded the corner toward the handoff . . . walking. I didn’t blame him, after all it was his third leg and he was dog tired.

I got the handoff and ran for all I was worth, which wasn’t much, but it was better than walking, so score for me.

Once I hit the sand I could see the finish line. With no around me the crowd started cheering. I liked the sound, but it reminded me of another sad race I watched.

The Highland Games in Portland has a race each year where everyone runs in kilts. Not all of the participants are runners, so when the last one dragged down the homestretch toward the finish line, the crowd gave a rousing ovation.

That’s what I thought I was getting in the Seaside sand, a round of applause for my effort. Then I looked around.

Some jerk had gone into their finishing kick to run me down at the last moment and the crowd was cheering him on. I’d have been pissed if I hadn’t done the same thing in every road race I’d ever run.

Finishing Bigger

Finish big is the motto, and running me down was big. So I went into my kick, but nothing kicked in, and he was getting closer, the crowd getting louder.

I dug deep, deeper, deepest, and still my pace was even. No kick juice in the tank that day.

The guy passed me and threw his arms in the air at the finish line like it was the Olympic Trials and he just made the team.

Yes, I could have tackled him when he passed and made the Youth Sports Hall of Shame, but why? He worked for the moment and it was all his. Way to go buddy, you ran down a forty nine year old man. Here’s your medal.

I’ve got the same medal and I’m as proud of it as any medal I’ve ever won. (I’m on the left down there.)

The key to being a good adult? Youth sports. If you played, or coached, and came away as a positive, you did it right and there’s less chance of turning into a poor example later.

If you know an adult who could benefit from some youth coaching, probably a whiny man who throws blame everywhere except where it belongs, leave a comment.

Who is your nomination?