TOUGH PEOPLE IN TOUGH TIMES KNOW THEIR ROLE

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Tough people, those who’ve been through a few fires and got singed, scorched, and burned; those who have stood the heat and not taken an easy out, are treasures.

Tough times try everyone, but tough people don’t let it define them in words or action. They will be scarred and bent, but not broken.

Boomers in 2020 know tough people. Live long enough and you learn the value of toughness.

A tough woman can do things other women can’t or won’t do. The same applies to tough men.

Is it tough staying married for the right reasons? It sure is, but it’s easier with a tough spouse. No wedding vows I’ve seen include a reference to being tough, though the idea runs through the traditional words.

Richer or poorer, in sickness and health?

This the vow used in the church Mr. Trump visited yesterday after the path was cleared for him.

“______, wilt thou have this woman/man to be thy wedded wife/husband to live together after God’s ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her/him? Comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto her/him as long as you both shall live?”

“In the name of God, I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.”

Click this link for other denominations’ ceremony. They all speak to toughness.

I heard toughness when I invited someone I used to know to stop by when they were in town. The flowers were blooming and I thought I’d share. Instead I got this:

“Why would I visit? So you can show your kids who their momma could’ve been?

No, but the flowers were beautiful that day. Tough people like flowers, and they like doing the work needed to keep them up.

Tough Love Helps

What happens when you do something you don’t want to do? Tough people do the work, then figure out a way to do it better for next time, because there’s always a next time.

Tough love convinces others about the sort of work needed, and sets an example by leading.

One of the toughest men I’ve ever met gave me advice. We looked at a problem together and he explained how to solve it. I was ready to call it done, but after talking to him, I kept going because he’d faced the same problems and came out a winner.

A tough man won’t ignore his partner’s pain. Instead of freezing them out until they break, they talk it out until they find common ground.

Be Muhammad Ali Tough

My friend Edward Merchant lived in Louisville in the days of young Cassius Clay. He told me about the time he saw Clay getting in miles of roadwork around town. The part I remember best is Eddie telling me about a group of men who blocked the sidewalk, then knocked Cassius down.

Cassius Clay got up and continued his run. How tough was that? After he won the heavyweight championship of the world, he walked away in protest when he got drafted. Then he made a comeback that lasted a tough lifetime.

Yes, he stayed in the fight game too long and got pummeled, but tough people don’t always know when it’s time to stand down.

Like righteous warriors of every stripe, Ali knew when to turn it on and off, and he did just that until he had nothing left.

Recognizing Tough People

Belittling name calling? Not tough.

Fat shaming? Not tough.

Walking around with a mean mug on all the time? Not tough.

Be tough enough to be kind, tough enough to listen to hard truths.

Start at home, then take it outside. Try and demonstrate the best qualities of tough people.