TIGARD TRENDING TOWARD TRAIN TRACKS

Not Me: I want to live near the train, the light rail train. Isn’t Tigard trending toward the train.

Me: The train goes through Beaverton to Hillsboro.

Not Me: I’ve heard great things about Hillsboro.

Me: It goes to Gresham and Milwaukie, too.

Not Me: I don’t know why, but I like Tigard better than Hillsboro, or Gresham.

Me: Better than Portland?

Not Me: I could never live in Portland, at least not the Eastside. Too much like where I grew up.

Me: Portland reminds you of LA?

Not Me: I just don’t get why people would live there if they had the chance to move someplace like Tigard.

Me: We talked about this.

Not Me: Yes, we have.

Me: If we found a house before we found Tigard, our lives would have been different.

Not Me: Those houses were creepy. The one with the broken hot water heaters stuffed under the kitchen floor …

Me: … and we couldn’t figure out how they got there …

Not Me: … or why. Or the house with the reform school over the back fence.

Me: It wasn’t a reform school.

Not Me: Okay, halfway house for young offenders sounds so much better.

Me: Or the house the looked like a double wide trailer.

Not Me: You liked that one.

Me: I saw potential.

Not Me: In a mobile home.

Me: It had a foundation. If we hadn’t kept looking further out past Hillsdale, past Multnomah, past Metzger, we never would have found Tigard.

Not Me: And now it’s Tigard trending toward trains. Perfect. I love trains.

Me: Light rail. Why is the train called light rail?

Not Me: Because it’s not rapid transit, or commuter, and it’s not a bus.

Me: All the good names are gone, like Paris Metro, London Underground, New York Subway.

Not Me: You need a catchy name? How about the Tigard Train?

Me: You can do better than that.

Not Me: Tigard Express, Train to Tigard.

Me: It goes to Bridgeport if that helps.

Not Me: It’s Tigard trending for trains, not Bridgeport.

Me: Will you be riding the Tigard Comet when it’s up and running?

Not Me: With less traffic, 99 won’t be so packed.

Me: So you can get to the Park and Ride on time.

Not Me: And I’ll drop you off. How many years did you ride the bus?

Me: I like the bus. About six.

Not Me: So we’ve done our part.

Me: Ok, boomer.

Not Me: You’re the boomer.