SWITCHING UP FROM ONE SIDE TO THE OTHER

Switching up with anything is every man’s dream.

Unless you’re thinking of suburban guy. He’s not changing anything.

That’s the lifestyle of the American Dream.

A house, a yard, neighbors, kids, mail comes on time, good library, a job that makes it all affordable.

And there’s more:

Farmers’ Markets, yard sales, yard work, working together, keeping up with everything.

You’ve got distance, with at least a mile away from the main road with bus stops, bike lanes, strip malls, and strip clubs.

Suburban Man stays close to home, and why wouldn’t he.

With wife and kids near by, a dog, a garage with beer in the fridge, wood to cut, and shelves to organize, where else would he need to be?

I say those are the seeds that sow satisfaction.

But it doesn’t start out that way.

 

What Happens With Switching Up Between Then And Now

We start out accepting things at face value, that people mean what they say.

If Mom and Dad say finish what’s on your plate at dinner, you finish what’s on your plate.

Unless they know you don’t like a particular vegetable and make sure to mix it into everything.

And you’re suspicious:

 

Ma: Finish your green pepper casserole and your green pepper smoothie, or you won’t get any green pepper ice cream.

Kid: This is bullshit.

Ma: Keep spouting off and I’ll wash your mouth out with green pepper soap.

Kid: Yeah, I know, then I’ll have to brush my teeth with green pepper toothpaste, like last time.

Ma: You’re about one green pepper away from getting it all again. We’ve got a gunny sack full of them just in case this happened.

 

Then you grow up, go out with friends in a far away city to Chinatown, and ask about the wonderful ingredient in the food.

Only to find out it’s green pepper.

Huh?

 

The Long Way Home

I live in a small suburban town without the notoriety of Beaverton or Gresham, the fame of Lake Oswego, or the native sounding Tualatin.

It’s not that different from where I grew up in North Bend, which some people say is a suburb of Coos Bay.

So what was with the Big Adventure stuff about in between?

The ‘get out and see the world’ talk?

“You’re young and the world is your oyster.”

“But I know about oysters already.”

 

Qualman Oyster Farms is located at 63218 Troller Rd. If you’re heading to Charleston on Cape Arago Highway, make a left just before the bridge. Other growers in town producing quality oysters include Coos Bay Oyster Co., North Bend Oyster Co., Pacific Choice in Charleston.

 

Every bridge I cross I compare to the North Bend Bridge; it’s usually not favorable.

Every cloudy day, rainy day, every cold cloudy rainy day, I compare to North Bend.

I like to say, “This is swimsuit weather where I come from.”

Wherever you are in your life, whether trapped in a fifth floor walk-up without a view, or air conditioning, wondering if it’s safe to go outside, gathering change for some popcorn from the corner store, or getting food delivery in high-ceilinged luxury with an array of remote controls in front of you, remember one is not far from the other.

Remember that and you’ll understand people’s behavior better.

They’re either desperate to get where they think they want to go, or desperate to not return where they came from.

Me? I’m surprised to think I’m switching up one small town for another.

Luckily, I’m prepared.

I had the good luck of growing up in North Bend, Oregon, and I’m not desperate.

So far.