SUPER BABY WINS THE SUPER BOWL IN A ROMP

Super Baby came to the Super Bowl party ready to play.

Her team?

Since the Dallas Cowboys weren’t playing, I’m not sure. If things work out down the line, she’ll be a Cowboy fan.

Or, like the house I grew up in, she’ll like any team playing against the team her dad, a Cowboy’s fan, roots for. My dad was a Packers man, and you know how that turned out in the first Super Bowl, and the second.

Super Baby won the day. How did that happen? Baby power.

And a super mom.

First, the group gathered: We had former football players and athletes. If we drafted a cheer squad, we had one if the game needed some tough love.

(One of us is related to a former high school mascot.)

And Super Baby

On one side was the youth, on the other experience.

One side checked on the other with, “Are you asleep?”

I wasn’t asleep, just drifting into the loser coma that comes with the outcome of a game expected to go the other way.

The prop bet sheet I filled out needed KC to win, which would have been an exuberant thing for baby and I.

Babies always want Granddad to win, even when they know Tom Brady is playing. I should have gone with the old guy to stay consistent. After all, Brady will still be playing into his sixties by the looks of it.

As the steamroller from Tampa Bay flattened the Chiefs, I heard the call.

“Are you asleep?”

To be honest, I’ve fallen asleep during a game before, so it wasn’t a question out of the blue. Was this a check on me, or me holding baby. I would have asked the same.

The person asking if I was asleep is the same one I watched when they were a baby and someone else held them. Now it’s me holding his baby.

Baby Saves Super Bowl

How does a baby save the biggest game of the year?

They set the tone for the day. Watch the booze consumption, the noise level, and the swearing. Baby doesn’t need to hear anyone cussing and complaining.

None of this: “What the #%$@ is wrong with the ref’s @&%* eyes?”

“If you’re gonna have #@#%$$ referees, then why don’t they do their ^^%$@## job?”

“While you’re up, how about a beer?”

Nope, baby rules apply, and that’s what made the biggest difference.

No one wants any part of a Super Bowl related incident, especially me. Every time around baby is a celebration until the next, and the Super Bowl is only once a year. I will keep it a clean record.

And I’ve also got a wife who keeps a lid on things by monitoring the room, sniffing glasses for gin, and counting everyone’s beer cans.

An alcohol monitor is always an important figure in baby Super Bowl; they make it a better game from the start.

And like exercise equipment used as a clothes hanger, the game needed help.

Last NFL Game For Baby This Year

It’s the last game for everyone else, too, but we know that.

What we don’t know is who will be back next year, and where they will play.

Baby will learn all about teams and players, and eventually pick their own team and hero.

You’ve got a team, I’ve got a team, baby will have a team, too. And a favorite. Who will that be? I know who it won’t be: the Detroit Lions.

Why?

Detroit is a special place, and the Lions are a special team.

They are the oldest NFL team to not appear in the Super Bowl, as well as the only franchise operational for the entirety of the Super Bowl era and the only NFC team not to appear.

Besides the wins and losses, the Lions are owned by the Ford family, that Ford family, and seems like more of a rich person’s plaything than a team driven to succeed.

My apologies for the bitterness, but the Lions have had a run of bad luck that doesn’t feel like an accident, or the hand of fate.

They hire people to run the show and be conversant in rich family stuff, which might be a problem with a team with their record of futility.

Of the careers ruined in Detroit, include Joey Harrington, Barry Sanders, and Calvin Johnson. Lately it’s Matt Stafford, and soon to be Jared Goff.

Baby Doesn’t Need To Know Any Of This

After the Super Bowl everything starts over. All teams have a chance. Every team can be a winner.

The record for every NFL team after the Super Bowl?

0 wins and 0 losses.

Baby starts at 1-0, because no matter the score, or outcome, baby wins.

The biggest win is for the mom and dad who bring baby for the game.

I wouldn’t want it any other way.

And no, I’m not taking a nap in case you were wondering, but I might later. I’m thinking of how anyone could fly under the sports radar so well, then pop up and win the Prop Bet sheet.

And how I came in last.

Sure, it’s a stroke of luck. That’ll change when baby draws her uniform for next year’s win.