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SMALL TOWN CITY LIFE

November 8, 2016 by
small town

image via epodunk

Your small town isn’t as small as you think.

I told a new friend where I came from, how big it was.

He said where he comes from, everyone in towns as small as mine were hillbillies.

What he didn’t know was where he came from everyone’s a hillbilly.

Like it’s a secret.

Leaving North Bend meant a ride over a big bridge. Used to be a drive around the bay, but the bridge solved that problem.

Coming home the same direction, that bridge was a welcome mat.

It still is.

In small towns across the country, maybe the world, there’s always someone willing to squeeze everyone into the box they carry in their head.

“Small town, small people, small minded.”

Anyone from a small town knows this is bullshit big city talk to make them feel better about the hell hole they come from.

One night I met a man from Coquille, the seat of Coos County. He lived outside town.

I told him where I come from.

He said, “Oh, one of those city boys, huh?”

Lightning struck right then.

City boy? Indoor plumbing, electricity, paved roads. Yep, that’s all big city.

An old coach’s saying hit home: “Treat everyplace you go, and everyone you meet, like it’s the big time, because it might be as big time as they’ll ever see.”

Highway 101 ran through the middle of town. It looked like any other road, except with more traffic.

People on their way to someplace better drove through North Bend and didn’t notice a thing. Just another small town.

Growing up there showed a big difference between that small town and everyplace else.

If you paid attention you took what you learned there with you on the way to your big life in a bigger city.

You might shake the dust off your boots, change your clothes, and take on the over-used persona of, “I survived a small town,” but reality turns that around.

If you reject your roots you start over from scratch and that makes you as shallow as a mud puddle drying up on a warm day.

You turn into the fine silt that blows away once the water’s gone, a little of you here, a little of you there, and not enough to show you’re worth a damn.

The idea that one size fits all, that population determines your fate, is a mistake too many make.

It’s not a mistake you have to make to fit in with the rest of your life.

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About David Gillaspie

I am a writer. This is my blog story day by day.

Comments

  1. Paul says
    November 8, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    I didn’t take the time to read this blog…I’m watching the election results county by county and my blue ass is getting kicked all over the map. I get the urban/rural divide on lots of issues…but really, Rural America believes that a Manhattan Tower Living Casino Owning Billionaire is going to afford them any consideration???

    Maybe they also believe the House always loses and loves to shell out the money to all the hopefuls at the Blackjack table. Seriously, how does small town ‘merica find any kinship with this huckster. I could go on, and you know the arguments as well or better than I do…oh, fuck me, it’s not looking good even if the Democrat wins. What a divide. How do we even tiptoe to the edge to even yell at each other across The chasm.

    Okay, back to my nachos and beer. The Champagne is on ice; hoping it doesn’t stay there.

    • David Gillaspie says
      November 9, 2016 at 6:21 am

      Could be people move out of their small towns because of times like this. If they speak up and the results of something they care about goes the other way, they still need to face the townspeople, who may say, “In your face, bitch.”

      That’s got to be hard way to start the day.

      Instead they prefer to be lost in the crowd, like the one outside a Manhattan Tower Living Casino Owning Billionaire’s place. There’s a comfort to a place where no one knows your name, except the landlord.

      In terms of divides, it looks like this: urban, suburban, rural and exurban. More divides to come. Exurban?

  2. Paul says
    November 8, 2016 at 7:48 pm

    Okay, I took the time to finish the “small town” post. Growing up on the outskirts of SE PDX I got to experience both worlds. The older I got, the more the “big city” became part of my experience.

    But here’s the more interesting caveat; I thought my family was “normal” until I got out and about and realized that not all families dealt with internal terror on a weekly basis. I’m not crying or complaining; the point is, the next stop on your travels through life can expose to to new information. And you get to decide what to do with it.

    So small town to big city or vice-versa, you get to decide what works best for you, not the numb skull on the bar stool next to you; or the priest at the pulpit; or the prof in your psych class; just you.

    • David Gillaspie says
      November 9, 2016 at 6:55 am

      That’s good stuff, Paul. The old internal terror that passes for normal until normal works its way into a daily routine.

      Bruce Springsteen wrote about is dad’s routine of smoking cigarettes in the dark and chugging a six pack to warm up for the evenings rant. Not a pretty picture.

      Thomas Wolfe details another dad’s routine in Look Homeward Angel that’s similar.

      After raising two sons with their mother I’m left to wonder who feels like they get a green light for being a drunken abuser on a regular basis? That’s not a normal in any life, but as long as it’s behind closed doors who knows?

      Small town living brings everything up close and personal. If you’ve had internal family terror you can see it in others, though they’ll never know your insight. And that’s the sort of information that makes for better people.

      Thanks for coming in,

      DG

  3. Mark Mullins says
    November 9, 2016 at 6:38 am

    I read the post, found it comforting, and mindful of other folks perspectives. I have found myself seeing other people for the troubles they have, what makes them more responsive, makes them have that feel good sense, and never knowing their background or where they are going once they head out that door as they leave your space.

    • David Gillaspie says
      November 9, 2016 at 7:10 am

      It’s an intuitive thing, that’s for sure. Once you’ve seen the damage done by others, who wants to pile on?

      There’s a meme with a caption that goes something like, “We have no idea of the burdens others carry, so be kind.”

      On the other side no one knows our burdens. Why not take a load off? One of my burdens is getting punched out by a five foot two guy I stopped from beating his girlfriend on NW 21st. It was my street and his actions were intolerable, so I stopped him. With my face. Memo to other intervention people: Don’t lean in when someone is throwing punches on someone else. I did. The burden part is looking for revenge on the next abusive situation.

      Revenge isn’t a good goal, but it’s impersonal city revenge. Small town revenge leads to life long feuds. I practice letting go, but I’m not too good at it.

  4. Mark Mullins says
    November 9, 2016 at 7:12 am

    Enjoy’d it Dave. Good thoughts

    • David Gillaspie says
      November 9, 2016 at 8:18 am

      Good thoughts and good actions combine to make a better place. I see a future for that. Thanks, MMM

  5. Mark Mullins says
    November 9, 2016 at 7:39 am

    re-read your post, Dave. It’s even better the second time around

    • David Gillaspie says
      November 9, 2016 at 8:17 am

      This writer’s goal is to drill down on ordinary life to show how extraordinary it all really is. It’s a novel idea?