SLIPPERY ROCKS? HOW NOT TO FALL

Slippery rocks will take you down in Oregon.

It’s the moss and moister and neglect that does it.

But we blame the rocks.

What else gets its share of unearned blame?

Two people, a work team, cruised the neighborhood looking for slippery rocks to power wash.

I arrived just as they finished.

One of them wanted to show me their work so we took a walk down the hardscape. (That’s what a bunch of rocks in the yard is called.)

Them: You don’t have to worry about slippery rocks now.

Me: I can just walk right down these steps like a normal person instead of like it’s ice.

Them: Now you can.

So I walked right down the steps in stride and slipped.

Instead of landing in a bone breaking pile spilled on uneven stone, I slipped hard and flew straight up. In mid-flight I somehow turned and stuck the landing on my hands and feet.

My only witness was the worker and she was stunned at my athleticism at my age, or any age.

It had all the markings of a crippling fall with possible head injury.

I’m still amazed. Not at the power washing effectiveness, though.

Slippery Rock Mop

Instead of power washing, this go round included a stiff bristled brush on a stick and a bucket of hot water and ‘outdoor wash.’

The label said it was plant and pet friendly. We’ll see.

The slippery part is dark in this image. I scrubbed the light colored one to show some contrast.

The main focus is on the rock steps, a series of short flights on a side yard with a rock border.

No one will slip this time around.

Now they’ve got traction even when wet.

It’s easy to see how a fall might be more dangerous here than a simple trip.

If you’re old enough, you’ve seen the results of catastrophic falls where someone doesn’t get up.

Regular Maintenance Prevents Slippery Rocks

If you go for the stonework, good choice. But you’re not home free.

Why? Because it’s not maintenance free.

You can hire it out and worry if it’s ‘done right.’

Or skip the bullshit and scrub it out like a maniac.

I’ll tell you what, once you get started it’s hard to stop.

Besides, if you’ve got a bucket of cleaning liquid, you don’t want it to go to waste.

I scrubbed moss off walls, steps, the works.

For the patios I’ve got an attachment for the power washer, a big circular scrubber I used on the sidewalk and driveway. It ought to take the organic slime off.

If not, you’ll see a post about an idiot who can’t tell slippery rocks from shinola.

Choose carefully. Send the dog down for a test run.