SHOPPING INSPIRATIONS: THE RIGHT TIME

Shopping inspirations happen, if you’re lucky, when you have money in your pocket.

My shopping inspiration: ‘Buy one bottle of gas station champagne, get the second bottle half-price.’

That did it.

Along with a box of hard seltzer with a six of trial-cider.

What was I shopping for? A hangover?

It was the first game of NFL Championship Weekend and the team was showing up.

My team is different than TV teams.

On there it was Taylor Swift vs Baltimore Ravens.

Or Kansas City Chiefs vs Ravens for the purists in the audience.

But you can’t be a purist if it’s not the Baltimore Colts. That’s the name they should have.

Give Indianapolis a name from their own local writer’s list.

How about the Indianapolis Racers?

The Indy 500’s?

The Indianapolis Flatlanders?

Anything but the Colts.

 

My team was, in order, a birthday girl (Hey Kelly), sports fans, fantasy leaguers, and mimosa drinkers.

The Honorary Captain stood 22 inches and weighed twelve pounds of ferociousness.

That’s who kept things in order.

 

Team Shopping

Shopping inspirations come in every hue, but one stands out:

Extra Value.

We all want something, but we want a deal.

We want the best value for what we have to pay, not less value.

No one chooses Plan B when Plan A is right there for the same price.

An informed shopper gets their timing right.

They know how to make a decision and when to do it.

Take the Dallas Cowboys, also known as ‘My Team’ as it is for millions of other losers.

This was their year with a stacked roster, all-time greats playing on both sides of the ball, and an MVP-quality quarterback in Dak.

I’ve had shopping inspirations watching them.

‘Maybe it’s time for a new Cowboy jersey.’

What are the shopping inspirations in Baltimore, another stanza of Poe?

 

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,

And the lamplight o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted—nevermore!

 

Man Shopping After 75

Who has shopping inspirations for men past seventy?

Haven’t you heard? Seventy-five is the new Fifty-five. Do the math.

Can you say Golden Bachelor?

Gerry Turner, a charming 72-year-old patriarch from Indiana, is the first Golden Bachelor, showcasing that love stories only get better with age.

The Indianapolis Golden Bachelors?

Are men past seventy a problem? I’ll tell you in a few years.

 

Make Shopping Easier

Create an environment for making better choices.

I didn’t say making the ‘right choice’ because you will make the right choice given all the details.

You see the usual things, the music is calming, and it feels like a zen moment.

Anything is possible.

But rein it in, brother, don’t go too woo woo. Check your instructions.

I know what they’re hearing:

 

Go to the veggie cooler and find the perfect bag of oranges.

Check the dates.

If it’s smelly, soft, and brown, leave it; orange and firm and citrus? That’s the one.

When it’s the right one and the right time, you’ll know.

Can I be honest?

When you see someone in public often enough you can tell when things have peaked for them.

Baby boomers remember, like their parents did, and like every parent ever has done, we remember when someone saw your kids for the first time in a while and said how much they’ve grown.

We don’t see it because we see them everyday.

Now it’s aging. We don’t see ourselves aging as much as someone we haven’t seen in a while.

They are so, so, so much older looking than us. Am I right?

And they’re thinking the same.

But public life is different. We see people on TV and they look like other people on TV.

TV people. Public figures.

They’re not on TV because they’re ugly. This is America, not the BBC.

Television makes it harder to see people for who they are because everyone looks good, so we have to use other standards if we want to know more.

Take political candidates for example.

Watch a speech with the sound off. You have two people standing there.

This is one of them yesterday talking about America.

This is another talking about themselves.

One of them is past their expiration date.