SHARE THE BURDEN, NOT ADD TO IT

Relationship talk turns into Share The Burden talk.

Marriage works if you work at it. Baby boomer marriages get plenty of work. It’s built into the ceremony.

To have and to hold, in sickness and health, and talk everything into the ground until it’s covered with dirt then pick it up and shake it out and talk about that.

Long term marriages do this and call it adding spice.

Every other marriage ends after a few trips around those bases. Who can endure that torture?

You need to balance all parts of marriage against each other. If you don’t fall over, you’re good.

Instead of adding to the relationship barrel, the already overflowing relationship barrel, the seasoned spouse learns to drain things off first.

Mention the idea of helping the marriage relationship to a real minister and they go into a slight trance before recalling Galations 6:2.

That’s right, Galations 6:2. In The Bible.

“Carry each other’s burdens…”

Share the burden with open communication.

Husband: Funny how we remember the past. Past houses, towns, girlfriends.

Wife: What? I wasn’t listening.

H: I don’t recall ever being someone the other person needed to get over.

W: No one had to get over you?

H: Nope. Every break up started and ended amicable.

W: You mean amicably.

H: Are you asking or correcting?

W: More like not believing. You say you never hurt anyone’s feelings, and parted friends with your hundreds of old girlfriends. Thousands.

H: One or two, not like you and USC.

W: Oh yes, and all the teams in the PAC12.

H: I don’t think one former date of mine talked about me to her next date as the one that ruined her life.

W: You don’t know.

H: I know you ruined your old boyfriends’ lives.

W: No I didn’t.

H: Being they’re all dead, I’d say you ruined their life.

W: Most of them, not all, and their deaths were more a coincidence than karmic  justice.

H: Dead is still dead. And they’re dead. So let me give all those losers a great big thank you for you.

W: For me?

H: Right? Since we’re all a product of our environment and past relationships, THANKS GUYS. GREAT JOB.

W: Why are you yelling?

H: I heard dead jackasses are hard of hearing.

W: My boyfriends weren’t all jackasses.

H: Yes, they are. Where are they? Ollie, ollie, oxen free. Come on in. Where are they?

W: I should thank your old girlfriends.

H: I already did.

W: When?

H: When I married you. You’re not so good at this are you?

W: What are we playing?

H: It’s a game I call ‘Thank your spouse’s former flames when you feel burnt out.’

W: That doesn’t even make sense.

Share the burden with other generations.

Old Man: Yeah, sharing the burden is the right thing to do. So is sharing experience.

Young Man: Like what?

OM: See, I’ve been divorced a long time. Long time. From 1976. Still divorced. And I’ve dated some. It never gets easier.

YM: Easier than what?

OM: In college I dated a freshman girl. She lived in women’s housing, like a sorority. We made out like bandits and she was just too compliant. So I asked her, “Have you had any boyfriends?” She said no. I asked her where she learned out to make out. She said the girls in her house told her.

YM: Set her up a little.

OM: I broke the news. She was lucky she was with a guy like me instead of one of those hit and run hustlers. I think I helped her.

YM: You didn’t hurt her.

OM: Since my divorce I dated women who’ve been married thirty years who have no idea how to make it work. One of them was just desperate. I had to take a deep breath and tell her she wasn’t ready for dating guys like me, or anybody, until she got straight what she wanted from a date.

YM: You’re a prince.

OM: You could say that. Yeah, a prince. In a world of predators, a prince or two along the way is probably good.

YM: More people need to know this stuff, like how to hold up their end of a social contract.

OM: Doesn’t sound too romantic.

YM: Now we’re talking romance?