SELF ESTEEM: TOO MUCH OR TOO LITTLE

Self esteem is the last defense against doing something regrettable.

If you’ve ever needed to build your self esteem, you know the risks.

The early build up happens while kids travel the route from grade school, to junior high, high school, college, job, wife and kids.

That’s one route. Call it the traditional route. There are others.

Families have the biggest effect on early self esteem, either building it up tearing it down.

Where you are today depends on which way you’re headed, up or down.

Early self esteem for a certain age was a pair of low cut black converse, Levi jeans, and a bright white T-shirt.

Green jeans from Sears, PF Flyers, and a hand me down button collar shirt wasn’t so cool.

The right bike made all the difference. That bike was a Schwinn Stingray. If you were really riding high, it was one of the Krate Series bikes.

The last thing a kid wanted to ride was a 26″ red Firestone bike so big it crushed grundles before anyone was tall enough for their feet to touch the ground. But if your dad got a sweet deal on two of those monsters, Merry Christmas kids.

Does anyone remember the the first blow to their self esteem? Mine came with a shoulder injury during football practice my sophomore year. It was the week I cracked the starting line-up of the mighty North Bend Bulldogs for a home game.

It was a special time because it was the one and only game I started with my older brother who was named a Shrine All-Star at the end of the season.

After six rolls of tape fastened my shoulder down, I played the last game of my season.

The Confidence Crusher

After the doctor shut me down I became a water boy for the team while I healed. From one time starter to water boy was quite a fall.

By my calculations I went into a downward spiral. The football team posted another losing season after the last losing season. I’d been a basketball player until then, but that team also had a hard time winning. And winning was the goal.

With that in mind, I joined the most winning program I’d ever heard of, North Bend Wrestling. They posted winning records, state champions, and even had an elite level of competition, the Rhino Wrestling Club.

One of the wrestlers had just won a silver medal in the Junior World Tournament in Japan: Robin Richards.

Rumor had it that he was cheated out of the gold by a referee influenced by the Eastern Bloc.

Either way, he was golden to younger guys in the wrestling room.

Confidence Builder

After learning the sport from the beginning I got better at it. I had high hopes of eventually winning a title and making a traveling cultural exchange team.

Winning a title made me eligible for a travel team.

My cultural exchange trip took me to the far reaches of Iowa and Illinois where the language barrier was low.

It culminated in the biggest tournament for high schoolers, the Junior National Championships at the University of Iowa. I got cheated out of championship by a ref and came away an all-American at third place.

My humble brag ever since was losing to really good guys who went on to do big things on the mats.

In short, I changed my self esteem by looking for better outcomes, for breaking tradition, and providing a new outlet for younger kids coming up.

One of them is in the National Wrestling Hall of Fame.

Today’s Self Esteem

Today we still check ourselves, our feelings, our moods, our friendships.

Unlike past days where we had neighborhood kids to compare to, along with kids at school, today we have social media for comparison.

If two billion people out of seven billion on earth use facebook, let’s call social media facebook.

Facebook esteem is different. Dumping on facebook is currently popular based on whistleblowers reports. That report was followed by a facebook shutdown that sent shockwaves through every grandma with a computer.

Facebook esteem comes in a a few varieties. There’s the guru who knows not to post because why give an online presence access to all of your data, your history, your dreams.

But that changes as circumstances change. For some.

I’m banned from posting pictures of the cutest kid in the world, my granddaughter, because of the parents’ rule. The same rule applies for posting pics of my two favorite kids, my kids.

In other words, my facebook esteem takes a beating, but somehow I carry on.

As a blogger I overshare all the time. It’s part of the work on a blog like boomerpdx: make it deep and make it personal to reach a universal truth.

“But Blogger Dave, what’s a universal truth?” you ask.

Fire is hot.

Water is wet.

Ice is cold.

So Far, So Good? Any Self Esteem Disagreements?

A universal truth comes from reliable sources.

Medical people do medicine. Science people do science.

Yammering jackasses with an incessant need to see themselves, hear themselves, and tell you what your problems are do not constitute a source of universal truths.

You know what your problems are? Good, work on them.

But if you’re not going to work on them, if you’re the type who wants someone else to do it for you, there are many options.

Find a radio talk show host who speaks to your insecurities. There’s a plethora of church ghouls ready to recommend you to hell if you don’t do as they say.

And finally there’s an overload of politicians who choose to degrade common people with doubts and fears, who put themselves above medical science and science in general because that’s how they reach their audience, their constituents.

“Don’t believe what you see and hear. Just believe me.”

“Only I can solve our problems.”

“It’s fake news, stolen elections, and a virus hoax.”

None of that brand of bullshit is good for stable self esteem. It’s a mental health issue aimed at low self esteem.

Don’t believe me? Turn on Fox News for suckers and losers.

Fox News has the prettiest ladies who interviewed for the jobs with the big boss. Part of the interview shown in Bombshell included private time with the head man.

Has anyone heard if the men of Fox had the same interview? It’s a self esteem question.