ROMANCE TRAIN CONDUCTOR: TICKETS PLEASE

If the romance train has ever stopped at your station, and you got on, these are familiar tracks.

However, if it hasn’t stopped, and you can’t tell the difference between the local, the express, or the out of town train, please continue.

Have your tickets ready.

This advice comes from interviewing love birds from, “we were neighbors growing up and couldn’t imagine living apart,” to baby boomer skanks in the 70’s, which are different than baby boomer skanks from the 60’s.

There’s little overlap, pardon the pun.

For this piece of scathing revelation, let’s stay on track with girls like boys and girls, boys like girls and boys.

It’s their call, not yours or mine no matter what you learned in conversion camp or highlighted in your bible.

Since BoomerPdx is such a painfully current blog, it also matters that some people feel uncomfortable with their gender.

Again, their decision, nothing that needs your opinion.

All set?

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Mid-70’s college boomer goes to a house-kegger near his dorm, pays a dollar and starts chugging.

Later on the way out he sees a girl he knows from the dorm puking off the porch.

Guy: Are you okay?

She clutches his arm leaning over the rail and heaves.

Girl: Not really, urrrrph.

Guy: I’m going back to the dorm. You want me to wait?

Girl: That’s nice, oooorack.

They walk back together. She feels better.

A block away she stops and wants to kiss.

Does the guy talk her out of it and help a drunk college girl comb vomit out of her hair while she’s grinding on him?

Or break out the Tic-Tacs.

Take her to the dorm and let her sleep it off without any regrets she’ll carry the rest of her life because of you.

 

Mid-70’s Boomers

A career woman inventories her past romances to decide where she’s gone wrong.

One name keeps popping up.

Yours.

But you live three thousand miles away.

She writes letters, you write back.

They start sounding like they’re being delivered on the love train.

Her: We’ll never know if we have something unless we try.

Do you write a ‘Dear Jane’ and explain that you understand the adventure of long distance love letters but that’s all they are?

Do you stay in the rut you started digging since college and wish her love and happiness and a beautiful life?

Or do you give notice at work, give notice on your apartment, and take the romance train to the past?

No matter how familiar the route, it’s new terrain with added intentions.

Paradise By The Dashboard Light?

 

All Aboard The Romance Train

Every time something new starts, be sure the extras that come along aren’t too much for you.

The early romance train shouldn’t have a baggage car, and if it does it shouldn’t be very big.

That’s what you’re looking for, a small baggage car, or empty baggage car, although empty sounds suspicious above a certain age.

If you do find a partner willing and able to help pull the love train?

Make sure you’re clear on who you love, who you want to give your love to, your feeling, your opinions, your geological surveys.

Who do you love?

I walk 47 miles of barbed wire
Use a cobra snake for a necktie
I got a brand new house on the roadside
Made of rattlesnake hide
I got a brand new chimney made on top
Out of a human skull, oh

Come walk with me, baby
Tell me, who do you love?

 

You want to know who.