ROLE MODEL RECIPE STARTER KIT

To start, a role model recipe needs a pinch of gray, but not some wizard looking rig with robes and a long beard.

Just a pinch. Why?

Nothing says “Follow Me” better than someone who looks like they’ve been somewhere.

Got it? So follow me on this:

FITNESS ROLE MODEL:

There’s a popular image online that shows a ripped old guy in a man-bun doing isometrics and looking strong.

It’s always the old guy looking like he could eat a Detroit steel Chrysler Saratoga with a Rambler for desert.

We don’t know if this strong man has always been a picture of fitness, or it’s his new found lease on life.

What is his role model recipe?

He’s got a pinch of gray, the determined unfocused expression of a yoga master, and the big question: how does an old guy get growth and vasculature at the same time?

After consulting my panel of strong men, I have the answer:

Old guys get big AND veiny the same way young guys do: They’re on the JUICE.

But, there’s a difference here.

The old guy isn’t worried about testicular atrophy, ball shrivel, or dry nut. Take your pick.

A young guy may not worry either, but he should.

In the Live For Today world of young people, the damage of booze, cigarettes, and street powder is deferred, postponed, lurking in the shadows.

It catches up when you meet someone with ideas you agree with so much that you change your life for them.

A Role Model Recipe Talk

Let’s say a young man meets a woman who needs a good man.

She sees him, knows he’s not the good man she had in mind, but there’s potential.

She also knows turbo is a bad deal.

W: How long have you been a smoker?

M: I’m not a smoker.

W: I see. Then how long have spent time with people who smoke so much that you breath in enough secondhand smoke to make you smell like a smoker.

M: You can tell?

W: Anyone within five feet can tell.

M: I only smoke when I drink.

W: With your boys from the gym?

M: I do other stuff with them.

W: I may have start smoking if we’re going to spend time together.

M: Or I could quit.

W: Or you could quit.

They grow fond of each other, fond enough to get married and start a family.

A year passes, another year, then the big strong young man learns he wrecked his junk with the juice.

He stands in front of a full length mirror for some self-assessment.

M: What was I thinking. Fuck, now I’ll never pass this, THIS, down to the next generation, to my kids.

W: (in another room) Are you talking to me?

M: What?

W: We’re adopting. You can pass your knowledge down that way.

M: I don’t know.

W: I do, so let’s go. We’re doing it together. You haven’t ruined anything yet and this will prove it.

M: Who made you the boss.

W: I did. We’re called mothers. You had one yourself.

Male Role Model Starting Now

Find a mentor. Fast.

It doesn’t have to be a coach, a teacher, a parent.

It doesn’t have to be a neighbor, a friend, or someone from work.

But it can be.

For best results find a sports dad who plays guitar and works at it.

It’s a bonus if they know how to drink a beer.

Why is this a good role model combination? Because you’ll always have something to talk about, and in the never-ending conversation you’ll find the diamonds, the nuggets, that give more value to life.

With this sort of role model you won’t be tripped up by ideology, conversion therapy, or cult recruitment.

Extra points if they answer questions with, “What I like to tell people is . . .” and you’re the only one there.

Welcome to your exclusive TED Talk.

Young people see older folks getting along is all the juice they need.

Make your example matter with papers and photographs and news clippings, not a mixed bag of bravado, bullshit, and slimy sincerity.

You’ve been around long enough to see the dregs and know them not by their tent, their doorway, their sleeping bag. Not by their Range Rover, their botox, filler, and grill whitener.

You know them by their actions, their people, and how they spend their time.

Do you know them? You should.

You don’t have to be better than anyone else.

But you might be just enough for someone.

That’s a picture of the near future with you in it.

Looking good.