RELAYED STRESS, AN EVERYDAY HEALTH PROBLEM

Relayed stress is that twitch we feel after watching a disturbing news segment.

Disturbing news is a regular feature.

If you hear a story, and you feel your neck lock up, or your stomach ache, what happens next? We share the story and relay the stress we feel to others.

Is this you? Why not do better?

Have you ever sat across from someone explaining why they bought their first gun?

Billy: You bought a Glock 17? Isn’t that overkill?

Bobby: Yeah, well, that’s the idea. Seventeen bullets without reloading. I’m not standing for problems on my watch.

Billy: On your watch? So this is a timing thing?

Bobby: If I’m in the room and someone goes sideways, that’s where they stop. I’ll make sure of that.

Billy: Your gun is about law and order?

Bobby: Mostly order. It’s a legal weapon under the Second Amendment.

Billy: Do you know how to use it?

Bobby: What kind of asinine question is that? Of course I know how to use it. Point and shoot.

Billy: Proper training, that’s what I mean. Like knowing what’s behind the target you’re shooting at.

Bobby: Just saying, if the shooting starts around me, I’ll be ready.

Billy: Right. Not on your watch.

Sharing Relayed Stress

People, men in particular, feel a need to share their bullshit in a way that makes them feel better about themselves.

This is a common resume they carry: They’ve never been anywhere, but are experts on foreign and domestic problems. In other words, they make stuff up, or parrot their favorite news station.

Bobby: You heard about England inviting three million people from Hong Kong to their little island? Three million more will sink their country.

Billy: Maybe, if it was a boat, but it’s not. Whether it happens or not, they gave some people hope.

Bobby: They better be hoping an extra three million people don’t start demanding equality and fairness when they’re being done a favor.

Billy: Equality and fairness is not a bad thing.

Bobby: It is when it starts costing everyone else too much.

Billy: What would cost too much based on equality and fairness?

Bobby: Now, don’t play dumb. You know the answer as well as I do.

Billy: No, I don’t.

Bobby: Well, you should. What’s gonna happen if there’s a shortage and we can’t get what we want?

Billy: Like a toilet paper shortage? A flour shortage? A ginger snap shortage?

Bobby: I don’t know about ginger snaps, but you get my drift. I’ve been right here all my life and no one is taking my things.

Billy: Are we stil in England?

Bobby: We in wherever you want to be, like right here. I’ve got seniority.

Billy: That’s not how it works. Citizenship isn’t based on seniority.

Bobby: And that’s too bad, because it should be.

Billy: Okay, how far back does your family go.

Bobby: Both my folks were born and raised right here, if that’s what you mean.

Nation Of Immigrants

Billy: When did your ancestors come to America?

Bobby: How am I supposed to know that? It happened before I was even alive.

Billy: Maybe they came over on the Mayflower? Or during the Irish Famine.

Bobby: I see where you’re headed. We came here after WWII and my dad got drafted into the Army and sent to Korea.

Billy: So, sometime between 1945 and 1950?

Bobby: Sounds about right.

Billy: So, based on your citizenship seniority theory, everyone living in America before your family arrived is ahead of you in line.

Bobby: What are you trying to say?

Billy: Nothing, except black people, native people, and hispanic people have been here longer than you, hundreds of years longer, and they’ve all ahead of you. Based on seniority.

Bobby: That’s not what seniority means.

Billy: That’s exactly what seniority means. If status is based on time, you’re way behind, way back in the back.

Bobby: I’ll have to think about that.

Billy: You just did and you know I’m right. And fair. And equal.

Bobby: Not so fair and equal if I’m in the back of the bus.

Billy: Now you know how it feels.

Bobby: My neck’s got a cramp and my stomach hurts.

Billy: Yeah, mine too, but it’s getting better.

Bobby: How can you get better and mine just started?

Billy: Maybe you need to pay attention to relayed stress.

Bobby: What?