QUIET REQUEST: MAKE A DIFFERENCE WHEN IT MATTERS

A quiet request often gets lost in the noise of, “OMG, WHAT JUST HAPPENED.”

It gets drowned out in, “PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID I CAN’T BELIEVE IT.”

But if you listen hard, you hear the quiet request, the gentle reminder, the question that needs answering.

I understand how busy life can get. On top of everything else, jobs, family, church, friends, find a moment like the one now. If you have time to read this, you can respond to a quiet request.

Here’s the deal: A quiet request is so damn quiet because the person asking has asked before and been ignored. They’re quiet, but only because they feel invisible.

It’s your kid asking you to play catch. But you’re too busy drinking beer and watching NFL football. Besides, you know the kid doesn’t really want to play catch and you can’t figure out why they even ask.

Here’s one answer: They want to do something with you. They want you to participate in their lives doing something they want to do. Play catch? You tried once but they could barely throw.

You can barely throw, too, so you avoid the embarrassment that happens every time: Someone always tries to fix your throwing motion.

Heads up Fireball. Your kid will find someone else to play catch with, learn to throw better than you, and try to correct your throwing motion. Then what, hot shot?

Neighborhood Life Request

If you’ve been in a big house with large pieces of furniture upstairs, then you’ve asked the question: How did it get up there?

If it’s a neighbor’s house, don’t ask.

It was either there when they moved in, or they moved it up there when they were young and strong. The reason you shouldn’t ask about the neighbor’s large furniture upstairs?

They may make a quiet request and ask if you could help them take it down. This one is quiet because of the danger. If it’s big and heavy, and there’s stairs involved, someone could get hurt.

Why do they ask to begin with? Do you walk around outside with your shirt off? Do you lift weights in your garage with the door open? Did you mention gym membership before the pandemic?

Answer yes to any of those questions and you’ll be the first one they ask to help on a move.

What you do next tells who you are.

Who You Are

If that’s the question you ask yourself, “Who am I,” this might not be the best place to find answers. But since we’re here, I’ll start with who I am.

Some guys get married as fast as they can. They find the right person and end the question of, “When are you getting married?”

That’s not me. I’m the guy who wasn’t going to get married, then got married and wondered who the other guy was. The benefit of a later marriage is developing a sense of individuality.

Instead of recycling all of the advice and experience I had to scrape off my shoe over the years, I stepped in new messes and cleaned that up. Anyone asking me about marriage gets an earful.

Some guys get a job and it’s the last job they ever have. My work life is described by my wife: “Why do you think you can do everything?”

What’s the right answer when doing everything is how you approach problems?

My last job was the sort of work you can do in one place. The work was doing Oregon history in Oregon. Other people come and go, transient historians, but sticking around for the long haul had more meaning.

Quiet Request: Wear A Mask

Show those who look up to you that you ‘Get it.’ Wear a mask.

If no one looks up to you, wear a mask. The community matters.

You’re not a part of any community? Okay, loner, still wear a mask.

If you’re a hermit with limited contact, wear a mask on supply runs. No one wants to find your nasty skeleton in your shed with a note that reads: “I didn’t think covid was real.”