Putin To Portland Baby Boomers

Boomer Dating Gets A Boost.

Mr. Putin At The Russian Rodeo?

News of Russian President, Prime Minister, Party Leader, and Head of KGB Vladimir Putin’s divorce shocked the homeland.

While his fellow citizens in the ultimate red state reacted to their leader’s decision, Portland boomers have a new role model.

Putin is a man of the people, in that he’s as frightening a figure as most have seen.

If local ladies like a bad boy, he’s ready to go.

His Daniel Craig-James Bond looks will light up the Willamette on a kayak date.

An undeniable horseman, he’s good to go on a back country trip.

The man is not a wall flower, so there’ll be little in the way of pleading with him to go out instead of getting couch-locked at home.

Who will he find on the scene once he shows up? It’s not ‘if’ he shows up. He’s a boomer and Portland has the best boomer women.

Let’s encourage Mr. Putin to put his best foot forward. Esquire Magazine even endorses his hipster-ness.

Ladies, get ready.

Baby Boomers Social Club is high on the list for meeting new people. Men and women seem to find each other through their events.

Mr. Putin would fit right in at one of the Social Club’s dances. The band’s name was ‘Drop Dead Red.’ That’s a conversation starter in any language.

What is Mr. Putin looking for in a date? Rumor has it he’s dating a Russian gymnast, so he likes athletic ladies. Portland is full of them, too.

• An athletic bookworm who is fit, enthusiastic, intellectual, and ready to date could be the next Mrs. Putin. If she’s as comfortable in the outdoors as she is at the opera, she’ll fit right in.

The only problem might be commitment. Who expects a man coming off a thirty year marriage to dive back into the partnership pool? For all the high profile jobs Mr. Putin has given himself, you can’t hedge on the title of husband. It’s not President Husband, or Prime Minister Husband, just husband.

He may need more time.

• If you are outgoing, but have a quiet side, don’t worry. Mr. Putin knows how to make you talk. He’s got charm, wit, and experience breaking double agents.

Singing and dancing are elements of celebration, which you’ll share together. Here’s hoping quiet talk between the love birds goes beyond name, rank, and serial number.

• Dating Mr. Putin is a great way to signal your ex-husband, separated partner, or the annoying neighbor who keeps showing up, that they need to find someone else. Once they see the Russian leader in the house, they won’t be back.

The man knows his weapons, his horse flesh, and martial arts. Imagine him out on the front yard cleaning his rifle, shoeing a horse, or jumping around in his karate robe when Mr. Wrong shows up.

You will stand on the porch waving bye-bye when that happens.

By coming to Portland, Mr. Putin will join others in the NW Boomer Dating Hall of Fame. Imagine his conversations with former CIA chief and potential Portland guy General David Patraeus.

“How do you like Portland so far, Vlad?”

“Poland has been a highway of disaster for my country from Napoleon to Hitler. Why do you ask about Poland?”

Mr. Putin will enjoy spending time with John McAfee.

“You have many skills that would be useful in Russia.”

“You’re not doing so badly yourself, Puts.”

The message is clear, Portland baby boomer women want men with some wind in their sails, not a tanker.

With competition like Mr. Putin on the market, it’s time to step up your game.

Call the lady you’ve been thinking about before it’s too late.