PORTLAND BOOMER’S NBA BURDEN

Notes On A Bitter Blazer Fan’s NBA Burden.

Sport’s fans watch. Maybe they have some game. Maybe they used to have some game.

Either way they mostly watch. And yell. Maybe drink a beer.

After enough beer they compare their game to the players they see on TV.

Most sports fans compare themselves favorably, the way too many think Michael Jordan could beat The King one on one. Today. At age 52 and all those cigars.

With Portland out of the playoffs in the first round Blazers fans turn into NBA fans. Or find something else to watch.

True sports fans can’t turn away from the NBA playoffs. The best athletes in the world getting after it? Refs swallowing their whistles? You stick around for that.

But what does it mean to be an NBA fan without a team to cheer for?

Bandwagon jumpers get on another team until they lose. Then change again.

It’s easier once the season boils down to four teams.

The conference finals are the NBA Final Four though hardly anyone makes the college comparison. May Madness? Take a look at your new team, Blazer fan.

Who’s ready to cheer for the NBA Atlanta Hawks?

They had a Donald Sterling/Clippers feel to them after the Danny Ferry remarks leaked. Instead of imploding, the Hawks cloaked themselves in basketball analytics and made the Eastern Finals.

There’s enough to cheer for.

The Hawks face the Cleveland Cavaliers who’ve had their own team killing problems.

LeBron came home and it was good. Cleveland fans who burned their LeBron gear bought new stuff and strapped in for a rocket ride to the title.

Except the rocket didn’t test well at first. It took off, sputtered, and collapsed back on the launch tower.

LeBron took some time off, the team missed him.

He came back and away they rode to live happily ever after with a seat reserved at the finals for the next five years. And why not?

Miami made the NBA finals four times with LeBron.

Four appearances and two titles. Cleveland ought to be even better.

Then Kevin Love’s shoulder popped and Kyrie Irving doesn’t look the same. Even LeBron has a few dings.

Man’s game does that to everyone.

Will this Big Three have enough to rip the analytics out of Atlanta?

In the west it’s Houston v Warriors with MVP Steph Currie and MVP runner up James Harden.

Without a LeBron, a “give me the ball and get out of the way” guy, neither will beat Cleveland.

The western stars shine as bright as any, but LeBron is more of a super nova.

He won’t blink if Currie drains three after three. He won’t back away when Harden does his herk and jerk in the paint then steps back.

Besides, is there a fan in the Western Conference who wants any team but their own to win a title?

Not when your team has to play the champs four times instead of two. And who wants to see LeBron’s fairytale homecoming pull up short.

Do what I do at the end of the NBA season.

Look for Portland players on the May Madness teams. Which one is Wesley Matthews? Find a shooting guard with three point range and shutdown defense.

Who is 3D?

Who is the Damian Lillard on Houston, Atlanta, Oakland, or Cleveland? Which point guard does things that have never been done?

Who is the LaMarcus Aldridge? Which player has a high basketball IQ, does the dirty work underneath, hits the mid-range like clockwork, then pump fakes his defender and takes it to the hole?

Where is Nic Batum on a conference final team, the slasher who handles the ball, nails the three, and makes others look better?

And finally RoLo, Robin Lopez. Is there a starter who’s role is to rebound, set pics, defend the rim, and run the court?

This is hard to pick. It’s easier to jump on one or the four remaining teams’ bandwagons still rolling in the NBA.

Trying to find Blazer equivalents on other teams means analyzing rosters and comparing size and stats and a will to win.

Or you could just pick LeBron for each position.

You can’t go wrong.