PIMPING FOR NBA PORTLAND

Do NBA players leave Portland for cities with hotter women?

The idea of Portland being such a small market that it can’t attract top tier NBA free agents is a laugh.

Not so much the notion that Portland can’t support the needs of top tier NBA guys.

As a long time married man, twenty nine years, or nineteen years longer than Ben Affleck, it’s easy to understand the needs of top tier NBA players.

The best of the best have been catered to, and rightfully so. They are the most incredible athletes in the world.

If Portland can only handle one major league sport, with apologies to the Timbers, we’re lucky it’s the NBA.

The downside is we fall in love with Blazers, but they don’t love back. See LaMarcus ‘Spurs’ Aldridge, Robin ‘Knicks’ Lopez, Wesley ‘Mavs’ Matthews.

Guys get drafted to Portland, or traded, and bail on the first chance they get.

Why? I think I’ve discovered the reason.

NBA players from best to worst are the best in the world. NBA prospects start feeling special early.

Through AAU ball, high school, and a year of college for the best, they’ve been the bright light in the eyes of family, friends, and teammates.

And the ladies.

Women see NBA players for who they are. No post season beards like the NHL, no bulge in the cheek like MLB, and no helmets like the NFL.

NBA guys show their game, and if their game equals success on and off the court, they need to know the home team girls love them as much as other home team girls love their guys.

This is where small market supposedly makes a difference.

Unlike huge population centers, Portland doesn’t have an excess of beautiful women waiting to fawn all over the NBA.

Instead of being the star outside the arena where women wait to say howdy, Trail Blazers have to work a little harder to meet Oregon’s finest ladies.

If they don’t find them in the parking lot after a game it doesn’t mean there’s any less affection.

Oregon is getting repped as a bad place for the NBA because our ladies aren’t up to snuff.

The truth is they have more game than the NBA. You’ve got to go out and recruit Oregon women.

We’ve got as good a bunch of groupies as any city, but ours are to busy to hang around waiting.

If you’ve ever been to the Grand Floral Parade during Rose Festival, then you’ve seen some of the most beautiful women in Oregon. And they ride horses. You know they can hold their own, but is that good enough for the NBA?

A retired rodeo princess in her twenties moves on to new things. If they move to Portland they might catch a Blazer game, but they’re not driving over to stand around in a hallway afterward.

Heads up to new Blazers: Up your game for Portland and Oregon ladies will up their game, too.

In the meantime, let’s get a pledge from the female fans. If the Blazers get out of the second round, if they make the conference finals, then the final; if they win it all how will you represent Oregon?

The world will be watching small market Portland for a world champion worthy response.

Let’s hope Oregon’s best takes notice and shows up to wave from their horses. Show NBA Portland plays the game right.