PARENTAL ADVICE FROM THE HISTORY OF ALL PARENTAL ADVICE

Parental advice is best served as a hand-me-down plate.

That is, tell your kids what your parents told you so they’ll know what to tell their kids.

Sound complicated? It’s not.

Instead, it is listening, listening and understanding.

It goes like this:

In your effort to have a decent day as a parent, followed by a calm night and reinvigorating sleep to prepare for the next day, you hear something odd.

You hear your mother or father’s words come out of your mouth.

And it’s shocking.

No, it doesn’t mean you’ve become your parents. What it means is your channeling age-old parental advice.

“Let’s wait until you’re older,” is an answer that fits every situation.

“Share with your bother/sister,” never grows old.

“Let’s do this together,” is an ancient parent/teaching method as needed today as it will be tomorrow.

Whatever generational tag you carry, from boomer, to gen X, to millennial, to zoomer, be mindful of unintentional life lessons.

The twelve year old who reads WWII death camp narratives in the school library will have plenty of time to put the pieces of that horror together.

They may grow up watching the History Channel wondering how a comically evil leader came to be in the 1930’s. Is that a question you’re prepped to answer?

Would you make any comparisons to the 2016 U.S. presidential election of another comically evil leader?

While we’re on it, how do you answer your middle schooler’s questions about the Jan. 6 insurrection?

“Let’s wait until you’re older?”

Parents Of Adult Children Still See Their Baby

Parents and kids both say regrettable things to one another.

What happens next determines what kind of family order you have. (If you didn’t know already.)

Kids set parents off, parents set kids off, and somehow no one blows up?

Naw, they blow up. The key to a safe explosion is using parental advice based on experiences that could have gone better.

Did your mom tell you she didn’t think you were college material, that you should join the Marines, or get a job in the saw mill?

Those were the words of a high school academic counselor to a star football player who not only turned out to be college material, but holds advanced degrees.

Proud of my brother for that. Joining the Marines in 1971 was my Mom’s idea for him. He would have been a fine Marine. I joined the Army in ’74 to make her happy.

Have you had harsh things yelled at you in an environment that doesn’t permit discussion, like military basic training in any service? Remember how small it made you feel?

Basic training instructors go to school to learn how to make people feel small. The smaller you get, the better you fit in.

Parental Advice says, “That’s no way to raise a kid, unless you have twelve kids and need some room.” And get a vasectomy.

Kids will remember your words and pass them down just like you did, so make it worth remembering.

Once Upon A Time, They All Lived Happily Ever After, The End

Lame or not, who doesn’t like hearing a good story?

If your kid asks you to read something to them at any age, do it.

And if you’re lucky, it will be something they wrote.

Imagine how vulnerable they must feel trying to express ideas in words, linking data and story-lines into comprehensible sentences and paragraphs. Got to be tough for them, but read their work.

Encourage an exchange of ideas in different forms. It can be music, words, dance, sports, or all of everything you can both think of. It will show a pattern you both can learn from.

“Let’s do this together,” is an ancient teaching method as important today as it will be tomorrow.

The first time baby swings on a park swing might be the first time for you in a long time, too.

You want your kids to share the joy of team sports so you become a youth coach after other parents try.

Your kid wants you to help them build that volcano, go to their choir concert, games, matches. And you do. They didn’t ask you to sit in on every wrestling practice, but you did anyway.

Kids remember the stories, the toys, even the containers they put their favorite toys in. They remember the stereo they took out of the Cadillac that’s been on a shelf ever since.

When you put it all together it’s called a life, and trying to make live better together doesn’t make you soft. It’s not a sign of weakness.

(Secret Message For Kids: Ask your parents to do the fun things you remember doing with them when you were smaller. Tell them you want to embed good memories for them in case you turn out bad. Then snap your head a few times and sneer for emphasis.)

“Share With Your Bother/Sister,” Is Parental Advice That Never Gets Old.

Wherever you are on the life ladder, there is one shared goal: breathing.

Everything after that is optional, but let’s agree we all breath easier in the right room.

If you have, or had, your own room, you are The King.

And like the real King, Elvis, this is the room you want to work toward.

The rest of us, the room share crowd, work toward cooperation.

We’re all breathing together, right? And some of us are doing our breathing behind masks. Maybe you?

Wearing a mask and getting a vaccine is the best parental advice right now.

I’ve met parents who’ve gone through the tragedy of their kid’s death and it’s a life-trauma.

Sharing this is meant to tell you life is more important than a personal statement to not wear a mask or get a vaccine.

Finding your way is harder with covid.

Give your parents and grandparents some parental advice medicine if they’re not vaccinated or wear a mask.

Tell them you’d like to go the park for a swing, and they’re doing the pushing. Can’t do that with covid, or if . . .