PARADE MAGAZINE: MILLENNIALS VS BOOMERS

Millennials vs Boomers? It’s over. They’re smarter and there’s more of them, so keep them on your side. By your side.

You Know It’s Over When Parade Magazine Chimes In.

Who reads Parade Magazine today? It comes in the Sunday paper so it’s not hard to find.

Call it the Saturday Evening Post of the newsroom, except it’s not in the print death throes you hear so much about.

Tackling a subject like Millennials vs Boomers might be a stretch for Parade Magazine, but they go funny and use comedians as examples.

Chris Elliott has a daughter. Chris Elliott and Abby Elliott explain all the differences.

Is this the right comedian? Where’s Jerry Seinfeld?

Where’s Henny Youngman When You Need Him?

What’s next, “Take my millennial, please?”

I’ve enjoyed Parade Magazines push to stay relevant, that and they’re big freelance payouts.

Walter Scott’s Personality Parade always has a hot lady. This week it’s NeNe Leakes. Since I’m a boomer I don’t know her.

Is Parade Magazine a boomer read?

Opposite Personality Parade is an ad for wrinkle cream. What do you think? It’s “the UK’s first serum clinically proven to deliver anti-wrinkle results…”

If sun damage causes wrinkles, and no one ever mistook the pasty United Kingdom for Arizona, how would you know this first serum works. Besides, who wants serum on their face?

Wrinkle cream is followed by a Hurricane Katrina update: 10 Years Later.

If you need a Hurricane Katrina update, better to pick up Ellen Urbani’s Landfall at Powell’s on Saturday.

Katrina is followed by an ad for the Neptune Bath Lift. No millennial needs this. Boomers? Soon.

Health Is A Boomer Concern In Parade Magazine.

To nail it, the next pages feature heart attacks, America’s No. 1 killer. One-Page has stats and advice. The facing page features The Heart Failure Handbook and the Novartis Pharmaceuticals Corporation.

Heart health is every ones favorite thing to ignore until fifty, then it’s a bigger deal because you could have a heart attack, you will have a heart attack, but you need to worry about a heart attack until you do.

Millennials have lots of catching up to do on heart attacks.

One more page and it’s Millennials vs Boomers, or father vs daughter, or something catchy and comedic.

The real scoop on the generational debate? Wait a few years and all the millennials will be just like everybody else, married and kids and worried about their future.

Boomers won’t matter as much as little Milly. And that’s when the laughs really start.