OVER DAVE, THE OTHER OD IN OLD ENGLAND

Over Dave doesn’t carry the usual symptoms of a drug overdose.

Instead of sleepiness, confusion, and coma, which would be unhelpful for navigating from the shotgun seat, it’s more of a stiff arm.

You need to defend against this kind of overdose or else it can be overwhelming.

The first time I heard about it was from my wife when she asked:

“Why do you always jump up before anyone else when something needs doing?”

Me: Why not?

I haven’t always been the first to jump. It started when I was continually asked to help out when I should have noticed help was needed.

After that I over-helped whether anyone asked or not.

Over Help Equals Over Dave

Did I see Levens Hall and ask for the clippers to help?

No, I did not, but there was a shrubbery or two that needed a trim.

Did I see a grimy town and break out the power washer to clean up the Bath lime stone?

Anyplace that’s been around a few hundred years has earned its patina, but who doesn’t get the itch to blast away the grit to the original surface?

 

The Over Dave came to full life during my caregiving days with my father in-law.

Instead of catering to his needs, I put him into training camp and made him work out as much as he could.

We had spectacular results that shocked the medical community who’d decided to let nature take its course.

As a former Army medic I said screw that and eventually a sickly old man rejoined the family circus.

The visiting nurses said things like, “Life is good for him, not so much for the rest of you,” in front of my guy.

I told them life was good for all of us, then tossed them out the door.

 

Nurse: But I have more papers to fill out.

Me: Finish in your car. My old man doesn’t need to hear the next opinion coming out of your face.

 

Another nurse came to dress a pressure wound on the old man’s ankle.

It had gone down to the bone from the dog laying across his feet and I missed it.

 

Nurse: This will never fully heal. I’ll come back weekly to change the dressing.

Me: It’ll heal.

 

Again, as a former Army medic with a screw up on the old man’s ankle, I changed the dressing daily after a good rinse to avoid infection, and it eventually healed.

 

Nurse: Who changed his dressing.

Me: I did.

Nurse: That’s very dangerous.

Me: So it amputating his foot. Your services are no longer needed.

Nurse: I have a contract to come see the patient.

Me: We’ll call you.

 

The World Of Over Dave

There’s no portal to walk through that goes to Over Dave land, it’s just my natural reaction.

If help looks needed, even briefly, I’m jumping up, jumping out, and going for it in spite of any protestations.

Not every time, mind you, but when things look ripe for a helping hand, I’ll bring three. The extra is there to slap down those annoying protestations.

Sometimes that extra hand ends up slapping me back, but I’m ready for it; Can’t hit what you can’t see, float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.

 

My wife is the main recipient of Over Dave, the poor thing.

We had a moment in the room where her parents first met across a crowded room.

It was the Pump Room in Bath near the Roman Baths.

As far as meaningful moments go, this felt big.

I asked my lovely if I could post a picture of us toasting her parents.

She said yes under certain conditions.

These were the conditions.

Me: But honey, why the blank expression. Let’s do better than that.

Wife: Like what?

Me: Well . . .

Wife: Yeah, that’s better.

Me: I thought you’d agree.

Wife: How did you do that?

Me: I thought of your mom and dad. Good likeness?

Wife: I’m thinking of a good likeness for you.

Me: What’s it look like?

Wife: Well . . .

 

Too Much Over Dave Leads To Unintended Results

I wasn’t banned from the castle, just out cooling off after the gym.

Who knew England lifted weights?

What other unintended results await the traveling couple?