OBSERVATIONAL RESEARCH: HOW ARE THINGS LOOKING IN TEXAS

From the sound of the words alone, ‘observational research’ sounds sketchy.

‘Observational’ asks who is doing the observing.

If it’s Bob Tom in Texas observing the landscape, a landscape of livestock, who decides his cows are ‘host bodies’ for more cows to increase his herd, he’s being a good rancher.

But if it’s Bob Tom in Texas writing laws against a woman’s choice to decide what’s best for her since she’s a only ‘host body?’

Dear Bob Tom,

Women are human beings just like you. They are not like the cows in your field. Cows do not drive cars, hold jobs, or care for a family. Cows do not vote, do not get elected, and do not write laws for humans.

You see, Bob Tom, women are not part of your herd to breed, milk, slaughter, and toss on the grill. Again, they are human beings. This may be a shock to you and your wife, but she’s not a cow either. You didn’t bid on her and win at a cattle auction in Fort Worth. Or did you?

If you take a close look at your children, you’ll notice they are not calves, or heifers, or bulls. And it you have daughters, ask yourself if you want some random Texas jerk-weed deciding what’s in store for her instead of you, her legal guardian.

Bob Tom, may I call you Bob, you’re making mistakes equating cows and women. Or women and any livestock. If your wife has the scours, you as an experienced hand know what to do. It might be worms so give her ivermectin?

As man who knows his bidness as being the Right Hand Of God, since you are a man, you know better than anyone about everything. The Good Lord has ordained you to decide on the fate of lesser beings.

Biological Tip: Women are not lesser beings.

Observational Research On Ol’ Bob Tom

Now Bob, where did things go off the tracks for you?

Was it the junior high dance when the love of your life, the girl you admired but never told, wouldn’t slow dance with you and told her friends why? Because she didn’t want some pimply, puss-filled mug wiping Clearasil on her new blouse?

She was using observational research with her friends who had danced with you.

Or was it in high school when the cheerleader captain wouldn’t date you because you were a football scrub?

Is that when you amped up for revenge on women, Bob? Was it?

Did the popular girls make fun of you and your best friend Neil?

“Oh look, it’s Neil and Bob. Are those your names or what you do together?”

That had to hurt, right?

Straight Out Of Texas

A Texas woman once married a man like Bob Tom, a man who knew his way around, a ladies’ man.

When his wife got pregnant he said, “Honey, I understand how women get when they’re pregnant and I want to help. So don’t worry about sex. I’ve got the lady down the street lined up.”

Those were the comforting words from a concerned husband? Sure they were. Isn’t that what every expecting mother wants to hear?

The Texas woman had a baby girl, probably the cutest baby in the whole state.

She planned on divorcing the husband, but got pregnant again. She followed through on the divorce then got an abortion.

Where did she get her abortion? If Bob Tom decided to step out on his wife and got a woman pregnant in Texas, where would he send her in 2021?

Would it be a safe and clean clinic with qualified health providers? Or would it be the same shady operator in some garage like the Texas lady in 1937?

My observational research says 2021 is a bigger number than 1937. I’ll do the math: there’s an 84 year difference. Eighty four years.

Where in the modern world we live in is turning back the clock ever a good idea.

It’s never a good idea to re-create bad times, but ask your local Bob Tom for his opinion about women, women’s health, and reproductive rights.

You know they’ll have a few to share. I’ll wait while enjoying a port wine cooler.