No-Divorce Baby Boomers

via Wikipedia.org

Just when it seems everyone’s had enough of boomers, there’s more.

They’ll work long enough to keep younger generations out of the big jobs.

They’ll live long enough to bankrupt Social Security.

And they’ll complain enough until they get what they want.

What do they want most?

Turns out they don’t want each other.

Here’s one scenario: Jack and Jill changed their names to Moon Beam and Long Walker after they met and joined a perfect commune.

Their spiritual commitment evolved into something more beautiful. Each organic crop they harvested together grew their bond.

Each day was a new discovery until Guru Leader decided he wanted Jill, so they took their old names back, left the campground, and got married.

Made it all legal and above board just like their moms and dads.

They could have lived together and had kids and done fine, but marriage seemed like a better idea after their commune days. Untie one knot and tie another.

Living the conventional life seemed like a sellout to them both. Suburbs, school functions, mow the yard. There must be more, but where?

Years passed and the kids grew up. Jack and Jill each had single friends they spend time with.

At one point everyone was Flirty and Thirty. Then Fabulous and Forty. The next decade turned into Fifty and Shifty.

You can’t build long lasting foundations on shifting sand, and baby boomers are nothing if not a ‘grass is greener’ group.

Jack finds a group to share the life he once shared with Jill. He thrives while she dives.

Jill’s circle only included Jack, but she drifted with her need to be taken seriously. Her feelings needed some kind of validation.

Eventually they both saw each other as the obstacle to true happiness, the sort of groove they shared as Moon Beam and Long Walker. Moon’s beam faded and Long took a walk and never came back. He took up the same space as always, he just wasn’t present.

This fictional couple shows the once ‘counter-culture’ in a light everyone understands. For all the boomer advances, from saving the earth, to equal rights, to personal liberation, Led Zeppelin on a Cadillac ad, the most important part of a relationship is keeping your word to the one you love.

Is marriage outdated? Probably, but until something else comes around it’ll have to do.

Is it right to fight for your marriage? That attitude might be the root of the problem. Fighting for happiness?

Are those in long-term marriages just too lazy to start over? Maybe there is no re-start after decades of over-eating, drinking and smoking make boomers avoid their own reflections.

If there’s any hope, it’s this: You have a life partner. Treat them like a partner and move toward a better life together. Loose weight together. Get in shape together. Stop criticizing each other’s friends.

Once you set goals and meet them, decide what’s next. At least if you break up now you’re going out on top, not as some kind of reject on the loser pile of life.

It’ll still feel that way.

We’ve all done things right that turned out wrong. Nothing new in that.

Before you say, “I want a divorce,” and your spouse jumps on the idea whole heartedly like they were waiting years for the words to come out in the open, sit together and set a few goals.

Then take a walk.

Exercise in any shape or form will enlighten both of you. And boomers love enlightenment.