NEW YORK CITY 1980: HOW TO QUIT A GREAT TOWN

 

 

New York City is easy to quit. Get on a bus, train, or plane and leave. Go ahead and be a quitter.

 

Except moving on isn’t the same as quitting. You got promoted and the new job wasn’t in New York City? You’re significant other got promoted and their new job wasn’t in New York City.

 

Or maybe it’s something deeper. Maybe you really are a quitter and didn’t know the signs until you boarded the bus, the train, the plane.

 

To all the people who’ve had enough of the big city, people who had someplace else to go with less hustle and bustle, less hassle, congratulations. You made the break whether you had a new job waiting or not.

 

When the words, ‘get out, NOW!,’ enters your brain, start planning.

 

If you have a job in New York City, put in your notice. If the floor boss is named John Gunn, tell the floor boss, “John Gunn, today is my notice. I’m leaving town.”

 

He’ll tell the department manager, Walter Pilipiak. If you work in a bond house as a trade clerk, the department manager may offer a spot on the night options crew. “Bobby Rosotti will train you and you’ll get an extra four hours of OT. If you’re leaving for more money, this helps,” he’ll say.

 

Tell him why you’re leaving if you want, but he won’t understand. He’s a Jersey guy pushing and shoving to make the 8:15 train to lower Manhattan every day of his work life. So did his dad; so will his son. They will never break that chain.

 

New York City is full of wandering souls chained to the place because that’s all they’ve got. Where would a New Yorker feel comfortable? Put an apartment dweller in a suburban backyard and watch them work the edge until they make it back indoors. These are indoor people.

 

What’s a New Yorker going to do in a one level home when they’re used to seeing the world from the fortieth floor. Not much of a view from one foot off the ground. They’ll be bored half to death.

 

There’s no easy way to quit except turn off the utilities, give the landlord notice, the boss notice, and get a ride to the station. Be on time.

 

The Greyhound Bus station on the west side of town was downstairs in the Port Authority. After you check in and find a seat with everyone else leaving town, the bus snakes through a tunnel and pops up heading west.

 

Leaving New York City is easy if you have a plan, even easier if  you don’t. Freedom is riding across country without a care. You’re out.

 

One thing you can expect to hear less of is the phrase, ‘forget about it.’ You won’t hear it as much, but in your mind it sounds like ‘fuhgeddaboutit’ which you’ll never do after plotting a life in NYC, then leaving it behind.

 

From Sean Curry on the bullshit-ist:

 

A grown man in clean clothes standing outside of his white Durango very plainly and obviously urinating into the street directly in front of your apartment building. Has that not happened to you yet?

I’m sure you’re laughing. I’m laughing, too. It’s an objectively hilarious situation! It’s also an excellent reason to move out of a city-sized urinal.

Yes, I understand that is part of the fabric of this amazing city, and yes, it is amazing. Yes, with a city this enormous and diverse and vibrant and powerful and important, I understand that you’re bound to encounter a few crazies, odd eggs, or nuts. I get that. I fully understand.

In fact, I think I understand it better than you do, as I’m the one who’s leaving and you’re the one who’s trying to get me to stay.

Anyway, I should be close to 1000 words by now, and I honestly don’t care if you want me to stay. I’m already gone, actually. I’m just submitting my Leaving New York Essay late because everything takes five times longer than it should in a city that was built for a population five times smaller than the amount of people that actually live there.

This is my Leaving New York Essay. I am leaving New York for New Jersey.

Can I go now?

 

(Hi Bobby, remember when you said I wouldn’t remember my pals?)