NEW EXPERTS: ASK THEM ANYTHING, JUST DON'T ASK ME

New experts are different than old experts.

Just ask them and they’ll tell you.

But what’s the right question?

“Could you tell me your qualifications?” is not the right question.

From appearances, new experts need a few tools: a smart phone, head phones, and a podcast are the biggies.

Did I skip anything? Experience? Education? Self esteem?

Who needs all of that when you can look into a camera and scream and cry and accuse and apologize?

Even you can do that, but why would you?

Think of what you’re good at, what sets you apart from the great unwashed.

How can you optimize your skill set.

You could write a thoughtful blog, a helpful blog, a love blog.

But why bother, you’re no fool.

In order to write a nice blog like boomerpdx, you need a few things.

You’ll need a vocabulary, a burning desire to make things better, and a partner who leaves enough room for you to work it out.

New Expert Vocabulary

It all starts with urgency.

You must commit to finding a way for people to receive your message and act on it . . . RIGHT NOW!

If you can convince strangers that everything they know is wrong and only you know what’s right, you’re a new expert.

After all, you have the freedom of speech in America, and if anyone disagrees you can whip out your pocket constitution and point to #1.

Freedom of speech does not include the right:

To incite imminent lawless action.

Brandenburg v. Ohio, 395 U.S. 444 (1969).
To make or distribute obscene materials.

Roth v. United States, 354 U.S. 476 (1957).
To burn draft cards as an anti-war protest.

United States v. O’Brien, 391 U.S. 367 (1968).
To permit students to print articles in a school newspaper over the objections of the school administration.

Hazelwood School District v. Kuhlmeier, 484 U.S. 260 (1988).
Of students to make an obscene speech at a school-sponsored event.

Bethel School District #43 v. Fraser, 478 U.S. 675 (1986).
Of students to advocate illegal drug use at a school-sponsored event.

Morse v. Frederick, __ U.S. __ (2007).

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, here’s the big dog for new experts: FEAR.

Here is a list of power words for sales pitches that will trigger fear and make any potential customer act immediately:

Afraid
Apocalypse
Catastrophe
Collapse
Danger
Don’t worry
Failure
Fooled
Gambling
Looming
Mistake
Jeopardy
Painful
Poor
Reckoning
Risk
Suffering
Trap
Victim
Vulnerable
Warning

New Experts, Old Lifestyle

A new expert needs a platform to deliver their message.

They need to be loud, louder, loudest to cut through the static of conventional ways of doing things.

Be loud and wide-eyed when you stare into the camera lens to show your urgency and concern.

Talk fast with shifty eyes for more urgency.

Can you believe what you’re hearing? Not yet. So turn it up.

Today we’ll hear from amateur structural engineers explaining how the Baltimore bridge collapsed after taking a hit from a cargo ship.

If a new expert wants a sense of authenticity and a background more impressive than hanging a sheet behind them in their apartment, go to Astoria, Oregon and walk the bridge to Washington while finding blame in Baltimore.

Better yet, go to North Bend, Oregon and do the same thing on the North Bend bridge.

If you’re asking yourself, ‘Blogger D, what are you an expert in?’

Thank you for asking. I am a Regular Joe with expertise in “Dating In The Seventies.”

By the end of the decade I had been back and forth across the country six times, had three apartments in Philadelphia, three places in Eugene, two in Brooklyn, and four in Portland.

Then I got married.

She’s an expert, like every wife is, or like every wife should be.

For the dudes: If your wife isn’t an expert, it’s your fault.

To the wives: Don’t kowtow to your husband, be a guiding light in their darkness.

We all live in darkness and the best we can hope for is shadows.

That’s why we make so many mistakes.

But if your light emanates from some big mouthed jackass spewing talking points from a loud mouthed jackass they love and respect, look away.

What I know so far:

Science works to kill cancer, not give you cancer.

The earth is round, not flat.

Keeping hope alive with your loved ones is the meaning of life, in case you were wondering.

Were you wondering?

Comments

Barry Rodgers says

March 28, 2024 at 4:02 pm

I admire your ability to do this EVERY DAY, I am still working on my first
- David Gillaspie says
  
  March 29, 2024 at 8:57 am
  
  Thank you, Barry, but it’s less about ability and more about ‘showing up.’
  
  I’m writing blog posts, not the Great American Novel; logging time on the keyboard.
  
  The best part is having sharp readers who leave comments that lead to a blog post. Debbie accidentally helped out, now you.
  
  Every Day Blogger

NEW EXPERTS: ASK THEM ANYTHING, JUST DON’T ASK ME

New experts are different than old experts.

Just ask them and they’ll tell you.

But what’s the right question?

“Could you tell me your qualifications?” is not the right question.

From appearances, new experts need a few tools: a smart phone, head phones, and a podcast are the biggies.

Did I skip anything? Experience? Education? Self esteem?

Who needs all of that when you can look into a camera and scream and cry and accuse and apologize?

Even you can do that, but why would you?

Think of what you’re good at, what sets you apart from the great unwashed.

How can you optimize your skill set.

You could write a thoughtful blog, a helpful blog, a love blog.

But why bother, you’re no fool.

In order to write a nice blog like boomerpdx, you need a few things.

You’ll need a vocabulary, a burning desire to make things better, and a partner who leaves enough room for you to work it out.

New Expert Vocabulary

It all starts with urgency.

You must commit to finding a way for people to receive your message and act on it . . . RIGHT NOW!

If you can convince strangers that everything they know is wrong and only you know what’s right, you’re a new expert.

After all, you have the freedom of speech in America, and if anyone disagrees you can whip out your pocket constitution and point to #1.

Freedom of speech does not include the right:

To incite imminent lawless action.

Brandenburg v. Ohio, 395 U.S. 444 (1969).

To make or distribute obscene materials.

Roth v. United States, 354 U.S. 476 (1957).

To burn draft cards as an anti-war protest.

United States v. O’Brien, 391 U.S. 367 (1968).

To permit students to print articles in a school newspaper over the objections of the school administration.

Hazelwood School District v. Kuhlmeier, 484 U.S. 260 (1988).

Of students to make an obscene speech at a school-sponsored event.

Bethel School District #43 v. Fraser, 478 U.S. 675 (1986).

Of students to advocate illegal drug use at a school-sponsored event.

Morse v. Frederick, __ U.S. __ (2007).

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, here’s the big dog for new experts: FEAR.

Here is a list of power words for sales pitches that will trigger fear and make any potential customer act immediately:

Afraid

Apocalypse

Catastrophe

Collapse

Danger

Don’t worry

Failure

Fooled

Gambling

Looming

Mistake

Jeopardy

Painful

Poor

Reckoning

Risk

Suffering

Trap

Victim

Vulnerable

Warning

New Experts, Old Lifestyle

A new expert needs a platform to deliver their message.

They need to be loud, louder, loudest to cut through the static of conventional ways of doing things.

Be loud and wide-eyed when you stare into the camera lens to show your urgency and concern.

Talk fast with shifty eyes for more urgency.

Can you believe what you’re hearing? Not yet. So turn it up.

Today we’ll hear from amateur structural engineers explaining how the Baltimore bridge collapsed after taking a hit from a cargo ship.

If a new expert wants a sense of authenticity and a background more impressive than hanging a sheet behind them in their apartment, go to Astoria, Oregon and walk the bridge to Washington while finding blame in Baltimore.

Better yet, go to North Bend, Oregon and do the same thing on the North Bend bridge.

If you’re asking yourself, ‘Blogger D, what are you an expert in?’

Thank you for asking. I am a Regular Joe with expertise in “Dating In The Seventies.”

By the end of the decade I had been back and forth across the country six times, had three apartments in Philadelphia, three places in Eugene, two in Brooklyn, and four in Portland.

Then I got married.

She’s an expert, like every wife is, or like every wife should be.

For the dudes: If your wife isn’t an expert, it’s your fault.

To the wives: Don’t kowtow to your husband, be a guiding light in their darkness.

We all live in darkness and the best we can hope for is shadows.

That’s why we make so many mistakes.

But if your light emanates from some big mouthed jackass spewing talking points from a loud mouthed jackass they love and respect, look away.

What I know so far:

Science works to kill cancer, not give you cancer.

The earth is round, not flat.

Keeping hope alive with your loved ones is the meaning of life, in case you were wondering.

Were you wondering?

Morse v. Frederick, U.S. (2007).