Neck Cancer … What Is It Good For … Absolutely Nothing

A reader left a comment recently that moved me to respond in a universal way.

 

Hey Patrick,

 

Thanks for coming over to boomerpdx. A quick question: How did you find me and this topic. I write about it a lot, but not too many show up in comments like you. I’m glad you’ll try and shed the stigma. Here’s another important part of the problem not many get into the way they ought to.

 

It’s pretty established that hpv causes cervical cancer in women, but not all hpv is cancer causing. You’ve heard about this. If a woman does have a cancer causing hpv, and you get busy with her, there’s a transfer of hpv. In the wrong brain this could cause a backlash against women.

 

We know it’s part of the program, but a woman hater would have a field day bashing women for their cancer. I don’t see that in your comment.

 

Sex is awkward enough without neck cancer.

 

Sex cancer takes it to the extreme. But it’s all a roll of the dice. One day in the office with a hospital social worker I thought she was feeling useless. I know I was, but I wanted to lift the mood a little, so I complained that hpv16 tongue cancer had to be the worst of the worst. Awful.

 

I noticed her working up a response, doing her job. Seeing her as part of the treatment.

 

“This is the worst of the worst,” I said.

 

“Not really,” she said.

 

Now I was intrigued about neck cancer.

 

I didn’t do a lot of research on hpv, at least not as much as it had done on me.

 

“I don’t know. This is bad, really, really bad. I can’t tell you how bad,” I said, laying it on for her benefit. It was bad, but I expected bad.

 

She gave me a level look, nodding her head and said, “Symptoms of hpv can manifest on the penis and rectum.”

 

I took an involuntary gulp of air.

 

She was right, it could be worse.

 

“So you’re telling me my takeaway today is be glad I don’t have butt cancer?” I said.

 

“In so many words that about sums it up,” she said.

 

I burst out laughing.

 

“I was trying to make it a better day for you, and you got me. Man, I feel better already,” I said.

 

“Not everyone comes in with your attitude, but when they do it makes all of our days better. When’s your next appointment?” she said.

 

She was prepared to be part of my support group, whatever that is in a professional sense. She already was.

 

Whenever I feel down and the idea that I caused this, brought it on myself, I think of the Rolling Stones logo, and Gene Simmons of KISS, two examples of rock and roll tongue. I think of Michael Jordan flapping his tongue around. Those guys have a tongue thing going, like a brand, and here we are with the consequences without the fame.

 

What to do with neck cancer?

 

Cancer is the trump card, like the queen of hearts, to most other disease. Sure there’s worse, but cancer has it’s own voodoo of evil associated. When I talk to people about health I listen to them, not talk about me, right up until I cut them off and educate them. One of my buddies had open heart surgery and took it hard. Lots of side effects.

 

Here’s what he heard from me:

 

“You know I had neck cancer? The first thing I learned was it wasn’t MY cancer. I wasn’t special, singled out for cancer, anymore than you were singled out for your heart. But here we are. It happened. It’s in the past, but the whole ordeal creeps up and scares us to death when we don’t expect. Learn to lock that shit down. You lost weight? You’re wearing the same clothes you had before and they sag on you. It’s a small thing but the way you look is a reminder you don’t need. You’re thinner, so get clothes that fit. Make a style statement instead of a ‘what the hell happened to me’ statement. Start the rebuilding process. Make something stronger. Your grip, your calf muscle, your stretching routine, something. Do something new, anything better than you’ve ever done, and let it snowball into the next thing, then the next and the next and the next. Make your New Normal a brighter day.”

 

He wanted his Old Normal back.

 

Who doesn’t? But we’ve got to know better than to live in remorse. Just today one of my gym pals pulled his shirt collar down to show me the scar and lump of his new pacemaker. We compared scars, mine being from the chemo port in my chest. Before I left the gym another guy stopped and told me about his health emergency due to too much salt.

Our New Normal is being present for others more frightened than us, if that’s possible. I scare easily, but the trick is to lock it down where it can do some good.

 

And that, Patrick, is the way out, the way up. Doubt and depression and a downward spiral gives neck cancer and cancer treatment the win instead of you. You’re a winner, not a whiner, and I know the difference from being both.