MILLENNIALS LIVE WITH PARENTS

Is it a good thing, or failure to launch?

Talk to baby boomers and ask when they moved out. You get the same answer most of the time.

“Right after high school,” is common.

“After college,” is usual.

It’s ‘after’ something.

After deciding they don’t want any parent telling them what to do?

After hearing, “this is my house and these are my rules?”

One boomer said they moved out because they were the oldest and didn’t want to burden their parents or young siblings.

Why and when did you move out of your parent’s house?

Pew Research ran a story titled, ‘More Millennials Living With Family Despite Improved Job Market.’

Why would anyone want to live with their parents any longer than necessary?

In my South Philly Italian neighborhood the girls living at home as adults had a fast answer.

“If I moved out of the house before getting married I could never go back because my father would think I’m a whore.”

An unmarried woman living on her own must be a whore? I think someone missed a few years of the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Mary Richards wasn’t a whore, though she was a young woman living on her own. Other young women living on their own probably aren’t whores either. It’s a misconception.

Living at home gives millennials a chance to see their parents work things out. Do the parents respect one another? Are they role models of how to treat others?

Are parents open with each other and able to talk through problems without breaking things and screaming?

If a household is led by a psycho screamer with a good arm, it might be time to move. Copying that behavior is a way to get flushed fast in the real world.

At the same time, if a kid is a psycho screamer, they need to find the door. If they can’t find it, their parents need to show them.

Living at home means missing out on roommates at a young age. Roommates outside of college are a mixed bag. They keep weird hours, cook strange food, have odd friends.

After years of living with roommates you might learn tolerance. Or you might decide living alone is the best choice.

Baby boomer parents with kids living at home have had experiences with roommates. Now their kids are the roommates. If they don’t keep meth-freak hours, burn the house down, or keep an open door for one and all, they’re pretty good roommates.

If you’re still on the plus side of a psychotic break for either you or your kid, having them at home is a big help.

They pay rent, clean the kitchen, do laundry, have jobs making good money? What’s not to like?

Recently a young mother of two, one planned one not she said, explained why she’d never let her two year old or five year old live at home as adults.

“Listen, you can be a friend to your kids without living with them. Kids need to live on their own so they can figure things out on their own.”

Like how to find an apartment, open a utilities account, go the grocery store, pay bills? That sort of thing?

“That’s part of it. See, I’m a nurse. I work odd hours. My kids stay with my parents to help out.”

So your kids live with your parents but you don’t. Not so sure that counts as independent living.

“Families always reach out for others. That’s what makes them family. My parents always wanted me have success. They still do, so they help out.”

How does your husband deal with your parents.

“I’m divorced, so he’s not in the picture.”

With kids that young? You’re lucky you have understanding parents.

“Yes I am, but that doesn’t change my opinion. Grown kids shouldn’t live with their parents.”

Right, as long as grandparents are in the picture it works out. Let me know if you change your mind down the road.

See, I never bought into the terrible twos, the terrifying threes, the horrible fours. The parent job was getting them through their own development without leaving scars for future therapy.

Kids who give their opinion freely, help out with the drudgery of daily living, and bring new ideas into the conversation are good to have around.

If you get too caught up in your mommy/daddy roles you won’t see your kids for the good people they are. Instead you’ll interact with other young people and base your feelings on them.

“Oh this younger generation is lazy, stupid, etc, ect,” forgetting that you raised them.

My experience with millennials? Once they get rolling they engage in work, play, and life as you might expect. They want the best for themselves and those they care about.

If you’ve got kids and see them once a year, a month, once a week, and it’s enough, that’s great. Just remember how you miss your momma and dad. If they’re gone, what would you give to spend more time with them?

Why leave your kids with the same remorse?