MEDICAL SCIENCE FOR STREET DOCTORS

Medical science seems complicated from the outside looking in.

If you’re on the inside looking out, it’s even more complicated.

But it’s different for Street Doctors, or SDs.

From them nothing is too complicated.

And that’s a problem, a big problem. Not for them, for their ‘patients.’

Where do Street Doctors come from? Start with the street.

Portland had a popular food stop before the covid pandemic.

The draw was chicken wings cooked up Thai street food style.

Correct me here, but street food is called that because it’s the common food for the common man from a specific country.

Does that sound right? It’s not eating off the street, more a street vendor.

I think the idea was sitting in rickety chairs at card tables under dim light in a converted house in SE Portland was cheaper than a ticket to Bangkok.

This is the premise of Street Doctors. Their advice is cheaper than someone schooled in medicine at a medical school.

Street Doctors’ Take On Medical Science

I’ve heard it, you’ve heard it, and we’ve both called bullshit? Not quite.

As things progress we’ve learned that some folks have an aversion to medical science.

If it’s not that all doctors are on the Big Pharma payroll, then it’s because modern medicine is run by crooked insurance companies profiting from prolonged suffering.

Take the Oxy epidemic for example. Nature.com breaks it down.

The structure of the health-care system in the United States also contributed to the overprescription of opioids. Because many doctors are in private practice, they can benefit financially by increasing the volume of patients that they see, as well as by ensuring patient satisfaction, which can incentivize the overprescription of pain medication. Prescription opioids are also cheap in the short term. 

After the oxy runs out things get complicated.

Medical science says back off the opioids, pardner. Street doctor gives you directions to the black tar heroin market. Since that habit you picked up isn’t going to fix itself, and the new MD won’t prescribe more oxy, you take street doctor advice.

Street Doctor In General Practice

“What’s your major complaint?”

“I crossed my arms in front of a chop saw and cut my arm. It’s bleeding, stuff is hanging out of the wound. What should I do?”

“Put some Bactine on it.”

“It’s a gaping wound, Doctor.”

“Bactine and a band-aide then.”

“It hurts bad.”

“Bactine, band-aid, and black tar heroin.”

“Okay.”

At the very least the street doctor could have included steri strips and Neosporin.

Medical science says clean the wound, trim the jagged edges of skin, and stitch it up. And don’t get it wet.

Cancer Treatment In The Street

“What’s your major complaint?”

“I’ve got a lump on my neck.”

“Is it a big lump?”

“It’s the only lump, and it showed up fast.”

“People get lumps of all kinds and they go away by themselves like magic, like a miracle.”

“They do? Should I poke a hole in it and drain it? Or put ice on it?”

“I prescriber wearing a turtle neck sweater.”

“Thank you doctor.”

Medical science says biopsy, scan, radiation, and chemo.

Heart Care With Street Doctor

“What’s your major complaint?”

“Tightness in my chest, pain across my shoulder blades, nausea, sweating.”

“When is the last time you drank alcohol?”

“Couple of days.”

“There’s the problem. Go home, but stop at a liquor store on the way. Buy a bottle of Peppermint Schnapps and drink as much of that minty medicine as you can.”

“But I’ll pass out.”

“The rest will do you good.”

“Thank you doctor.”

Medical science says angiogram, blood test for troponin, and observation.

Street Doctor Treats Covid

“What is your major complaint.”

“I have trouble breathing, dry cough, can’t smell anything or taste.”

“Right. Have you tried shining a bright light on your behind?”

“Yes.”

“And you’ve put bleach everywhere you can?”

“Of course.”

“I’ve got two remedies for you. The first one works for malaria and covid. The second works for horse worms and covid. You can pick it up at the feed and seed.”

“Thank you doctor.”

Medical science says get a covid vaccine, wear a mask, and wake the hell up.

Hospitals are putting out news that patients are waiting for treatment because no beds are available.

Unvaccinated people are filling them up. When you’re sick you need help, and that’s why they’re in the hospital.

But where’s the turning point for them listening to street doctor advice, then medical advice?

I’ll tell you this, and you can believe it: People feel something off, something wrong, something different. Then they do one of two things: they get checked out by their medical doctor, their primary care doctor, or they ignore it until they panic, call 911, and overload the hospitals.

Which one are you?

The picture at the top is Russian Dr. Rasputin. He was in turn a holy man, a healer, and a confidant to important people.

He was a street doctor who succumbed to street justice.

Too many people who spout anti-mask, anti-vax, and anti-medical science nonsense in public are dying. So is their audience. We’re better than that?

We’re supposed to be better than that.