MANSPLAINING MANSPLAINING IS NOT MANLY UNLESS . . .

A man mansplaining mansplaining is as useful as men explaining birth to a new mom, or why men are so drawn to bullies like Donald Trump.

With that said, do you want to know why? Because I’ll tell you why.

Then you will understand it better.

You see, men, even manly men, have emotions they are ashamed of, like empathy and tenderness for example. Not manly enough, and stuff like that.

So like the men they see themselves as, they put those feelings of empathy and tenderness, once discovered and laughed at by their friends, far, far, away.

My mansplaining life began in fifth grade, the year the male teacher took over spanking duty on students with a bigger paddle. The elderly female principal could still swing the stick, but older kids didn’t always stand still enough for her to groove her stroke.

The first time in the paddle room, the male teacher said, “You get three hacks. One for the school, one for disrupting class, one for you to remember you don’t want to come in here again.”

Mansplaining mansplaining for the eighth grade science teacher who gave students hacks with a bunson burner plank? No one wanted that either.

In most cases of violent response, like a teacher practicing their home run swing on a kid’s butt, other approaches are ignored. The grade school kid spanking work needed men who kept that empathy and tenderness tucked away.

If you’re thinking of policing solutions, you’re not wrong.

Hurt Feelings Texted Out

Based on what I read, text therapy is a real thing. You’ve read it too? Okay, me neither, but doesn’t it feel therapeutic to make a new connection with someone you haven’t heard from in a decade?

Since I lost my phone in the Paris Metro last year, I lost my phone list. No back-up, so be sure to back-up. And be sure to keep an eye on the subway guy you warn your partner to keep an eye on because he’s eyeing them. Then he picked my phone with his smooth pickpocket style.

Now, every time someone texts, I ask who it is. And every time I feel like I should have known who it was.

While I wasn’t expecting a new number with a laundry list of my past short comings, beginning with my career move from museum pro to househusband pro-caregiver, it did show I had a past I am proud of.

Education failure was on the list, student loans, one student loan in particular where the loan officer obtained my phone number. I asked how he’d come by the number and he told me.

My question to you, gentle reader, is who among us gives a fellow student up to a student loan collection officer? So I said a few words, wrong words, but apparently memorable words. Call me regretful. And I’ve learned from the experience.

The person who chooses the institution over the individual is usually someone with authority issues, authority yearnings, with the potential of extra authority. It starts early and lasts a lifetime. And they deserve our empathy until it hurts.

Empathy, Tenderness, And Trump

The key to the first presidential debate of 2020 is locked in the words about Joe Biden’s sons coming out of Mr. Trump’s mouth. It’s a narrow judgement based on being the father of sons myself.

Both men are fathers’ of sons, both men had brothers. My brother was draft bait, six foot two, two hundred and twenty pounds of All-State, Shrine Allstar, draft bait. The very notion was hard to take. Get on a plane, get trained up, be on the six o’clock news.

Trump and Biden are both old enough to know the consequences of war, the damage done, and the aftermath. The image of Joe looking at his kid in uniform was all anyone needs to see to know Joe. It’s heartbreaking on its own.

Can we agree there is such a thing as being the biggest authority over our own feelings? That’s Joe making the best of his kid going out to a war zone, the authority in charge of his feelings.

People with self authority do things differently than those without. They don’t do the history life review like Mr. Trump’s comments on suckers and losers in the military that brought a snappy response from Joe defending his son Beau.

Trump brushed Beau aside like he was just another number, another death, to zero in on Hunter Biden, cocaine, and career. It sounded familiar.

Then Joe Biden said: “My son had a problem. My son got treatment. I’m very proud of my son.”

When you make an unexpected connection, try and see it with fresh eyes. Promise yourself you’ll be a better person and others will see that promise and feel hope. That’s what I saw from Joe Biden last night.

Mansplaining mansplaining for Mr. Trump isn’t about dodging taxes, draft notices, bankruptcies, ex-wives, or any of the scurrilous reports and rumors about the man.

Robert DeNiro said it best. With extra soul.