MALE FRIENDSHIP? WHO DECIDES YOUR BEST FRIEND FOREVER

For ‘male friendship’ I searched for ‘old pic of best friends.’

What showed up? Images of women friends.

If that’s surprising, then you need to know more about male friendship.

It’s different than female friendship. How different?

I had guys in school sit next to me to copy my work.

They needed a smart student and I was it? How could I be friends with anyone so misguided? Couldn’t they see me copying from the girl on the other side?

Other male friends dropped off at the onset of organized sports, like flag football.

“It’s too rough.”

They were good guys, but judging flag football in grade school as too rough was too much.

I’d understand if they decided to sit out tackle football in full gear that started in 7th grade.

Was it rough? Too dangerous?

After helping coach my kid’s football teams, the dangerous part was some kid with hurt feeling running over an unsuspecting, unprepared, player after the whistle.

Sports are a great source of male bonding later in life, until one of the group decides to change teams. Or, their underdog team starts winning and they turn into raving jackasses at their good fortune.

With male friendship there’s always a line to cross and we never know it until it’s too late and we’re on the other side.

Hello?

Who Chooses A Married Man’s Best Friend?

There’s a short answer and a long answer. First the long one.

I got home later than usual one night after work. Some of the guys went out for a beer to celebrate finishing a project.

One of them dropped me off around seven. I was an hour late and didn’t call. I’ve got no excuse, though it was before cell phones. None of the others excused themselves to call home.

My wife and I had a one year old son and our tight family ran on the clock. Still no excuses. It’s all my fault for being an hour late.

I knew that before I sent the other guy in the front door first. He was my buffer friend.

My sassy wife explained to him the difference between a married man with a family like me, and a single loser like him. I don’t think she called him a loser, but that’s what she made him feel like.

He stood in the door and listened to a young mother blast away on responsibilities, obligations, manhood, the works.

And he listened.

What would you do in similar circumstances?

In my single man days I heard all about it from married pals’ wives: Single men are evil, the bane of marriage, and only want to show their married friends that they made the jump too soon.

The only way to respond to a wife’s angry outburst? Interrupt as soon as possible with:

“I think you want to talk to this guy.”

Then do a snappy about face, poke the husband in the chest, and push him into the room.

In other words, run away. Is that what my work buddy did? He did not.

Instead, he let the wife finish, turned around with tears and a cry-face, and left.

How could I be friends with someone so emotional?

2

A married friend and his wife stopped by with the wife’s comment:

“Oh, great. Another afternoon wasted with your a-hole friends.”

She said it right in front of me.

Instead of hurt feelings, I said, “Naw, all those people left when they heard you were coming.”

Hilarity did not ensue.

3

We constantly evolve, some faster than others. When someone calls themselves ‘Old School’ it used to mean common sense gained on the farm, WWII, Korea, or all three.

Old School evolved to Just A Guy, which sounds like being called common but isn’t. All three share threads of friendship, and all three have a hard time finding them.

Follow Up In Part 2