MAKING NEW FRIENDS

The end of Casablanca. Via pinterest.com

Is it harder for aging baby boomers to make new friends?

When the cycle of life leaves you lonely, it feels like everyone else is on the bicycle of life and you’ve got a flat.

If that’s you, get moving. Walk it out.

But to where?

How do you make new friends?

Where do you make new friends?

You know what a social network is? It’s a group linked together through common interests. Facebook is a social network, but how much time do you need in front of screen before it’s just time in front of a screen.

Friends give an emotional boost. If you say something and a friend agrees, you get the feeling of inclusion, like, “I’m not as big an idiot as I thought.”

Actually, thinking of yourself as an idiot might be the reason you have no friends as you age.

If you secretly see yourself as an idiot, and expect others to prove you wrong, you’re asking too much.

No one wants to do all the lifting for an able bodied buddy, which isn’t to say you’re not the idiot you think you are, just that your friends might need a lift too.

And that’s why you need new friends?

Before getting out there and trying to make new friends, ask yourself what kind of friend you are.

Are you considerate? Do you make way for others, hold doors, give up your seat? More to the point, do you do it thinking, “That lame ass is going to fall down and make a mess if I don’t help out,” instead of, “They look like they could use a helping hand?”

Generosity of spirit always shines through; preventative measures are important, too.

People like generosity of spirit better.

Think of the last time you were at a four way stop intersection where everyone follows the right of way rule until it comes to the one driver who won’t take their turn. They wave everyone else to go, then gun it through when no one moves fast enough.

Those drivers are control freaks acting like stop lights in a stop sign world. Common interests make better friends. Control nuts don’t like anyone they can’t control, and most of those they can control.

You meet people at car accidents, just not friends.

Too many people find new friends through shared politics during an election year.

Angry white men have Donald Trump, angry women have Hillary Clinton, millennials have Bernie Sanders. All so tidy and neat, but not based in reality.

Trump supporters get portrayed more as under-educated rubes than angry white men, as if white men have anything to be angry about. Watch them cheer when Trump say he’s bringing jobs back from China so America can start making things again, start making America great again.

The next time you go to WalMart, Costco, Target, and other big box stores, check labels to see where things are made. You’ll see China and a cheap price tag. Made in America will drive prices higher than you want to pay when manufacturers shell out for labor costs.

We are addicted to cheap crap in a throw away culture. Choose between a $300 American made drill or a $25 Chinese made drill from Harbor Freight? You can do more than sink screws with that extra $275.

Make new friends through Hillary?

Do that and you may need to learn to interpret smugness. You’ll need some history back up to feel the heightened sense of urgency with a woman leading the Democrats.

You might need some history, or you could tune into one of President Obama’s appearances. Part of him being the man, the leader he is, comes from Michelle Obama. She seems like a strong woman, he seems to respect her, and that makes him a better person.

(One of the secrets to being a better person is respecting your partner, man or woman.)

Hillary has come through many storms, trials, and tribulations. She’s earned all the respect you can give. If you question that, leave a comment and tell me where Al Gore is and what he’s doing. Be sure he’s not doing the work she is. Call it smug, or just moving the cultural needle a little at a time.

People complain about Hillary the same way they once complained about their teachers, their moms, their first wives. She reminds them of who they are, not who they see themselves as. She’s smarter, better read, better traveled, and knows government inside and out. Between Trump and Hillary, who would you be more proud to call a friend?

Bernie is the new friend you’ll never forget.

The man is a meteor flashing across the primary season. He sparked interest in millennials and raised the roof at his rallies. Instead of a conventional candidate, he ragged the establishment night after night.

“I’m the one who won’t go away, the one who speaks for the 99%, the one who knows what it’s like to live in the same conditions as so many Americans.”

And he wants to do something about it. Millions of voters agree with him, and parts of his campaign will move forward even if he doesn’t.

Bernie looks like a guy who knows how to do the right thing, can explain it to you, then leave you to decide what to do and help clean up the mess you make. Who has friends like that? I want one.

Best Friends Day just came and went. Did anyone call you? Stop by? That doesn’t mean your not worthy of being a best friend, but still…

Now is a good time to reach out. Say something nice today. Do something kind tomorrow. Once you get that sort of momentum rolling you’ll find it hard to make time for all of your new friends.

Make time, boomers.