LOVE AFFAIRS OR LEARNING AFFAIRS

Know when to ride away; know when to stay. via alarm-magazine.com

Do past love affairs affect the future?

What happens between two people ought to be like Las Vegas: what happens there stays there.

Except it never happens that way between two people, three or four people, or a whole team of people.

No judgements, just call it a social agreement between adults who know how to shut up.

An intimate contract, the social agreement broken most often, needs no words. It needs less, but it is the contract we most want to hear about.

What are the secrets? Who cheated who? And now what.

There’s always the ‘now what’ moment because we’ve all picked up the pieces and started over on something, if not someone.

How do you live without…(fill in the blank.)

Too often things fall apart because the gaps between people and places grow bigger, and other things take root in there.

“I love you. You know I love you. I’d never do anything to hurt you. Never cheat on you.”

“Uh huh, that’s nice. Do you have a minute?”

No one wants to have that conversation. It’s better to fake it and lie than come clean?

You’ve already been doing that, now it’s time to let go. It’s over.

If you do have that conversation you have two choices: should you stay, or should you go?

If you’re in high school and the guy complementing your girlfriend goes out with her on a weekend you’re gone, you should stay gone.

If you’re a college freshman and your dorm girlfriend starts dating the guy down the hall, you should go.

If you’re a single millennial, baby boomer, or anything hipstery in between, and you hear you need to be more emotionally available, you might want to talk it out.

At the very least, when you find out someone isn’t truthful when they say who’ve they’ve been spending time with, don’t wish ill will on them.

Most people have enough ill will to begin with. If your wish of ill tips their scales, and something happens, you’ll spend the rest of your life in guilt.

Ill wishing someone and having it come true is a bad memory to carry.

So you’re high school sweetheart gets scooped up by sweet talk and sympathy? She was already gone and you didn’t know it. Don’t get depressed and join the Army.

Your dorm babe rides away on the back of a Triumph Trident wrapped around some guitar playing blonde surf punk? She’s a groupie and you don’t have an act. What was she supposed to do?

In real life, what we like to call the adult world, you find your girlfriend in a compromising position with the wrong person?

You don’t need to start punching and kicking and tearing phones out of the wall and stomping bikes and flinging bathroom scales like a track and field discus. Come on, man.

Do past love affairs affect the future of love? Only if you focus on the good parts and move forward.

That other stuff will drag into the deep water and drown you.

But, you say you know how to swim?

How often have you dog paddled out troubled love affairs?