THE LONG MARRIED SECRET? WORDS

 

 

Too often we take wedding anniversaries for granted? Who does that? Not those married to a skunk who buys extravagant gifts to cover their stink. That’s the yearly bonus they give for looking the other way.

 

Just make sure your present is better than the one they bought the other one. That’s spells love best.

 

Like a birthday later in life, the numbers don’t make sense for baby boomers. 50? 60? 70? No way?

 

Way.

 

Stick it out and you end up married half your life. It’ll happen, but you don’t want to alarm your partner. They probably think you’ve forgotten how important anniversaries are.

 

Surprise them with this one line. Maybe two.

 

 

“I forget. Is this our 25th anniversary or your 25th birthday?”

 

“Is 27 our years of marriage or your waist size?”

 

“29 years together? Or our 29th date?”

 

If you get locked out of the house, don’t blame me.

 

Your partner isn’t a blog reader? Then this ought to be a big surprise for them. It only works with long married people. If you’re married twelve years, it’s not gonna be a game changer. It’ll be a game wrecker.

 

The numbers match up further on down the line. How much further?

 

Past the day you felt more unappreciated than an outhouse cleaner with a sinus infection who shows up for work anyway. Past the day you found out your partner isn’t plotting a new romance, they’re just tired of you. Past the day you decided to spend more time at work to avoid your loved one.

 

That much further. If you can’t see that day from where you are, relax, you’re not supposed to. That’s the mystery of marriage, lots of twists and turns. If you’re watching the Winter Olympics, the twists and turns you see in the half pipe are like marriage. Just get up after you crash.

 

No one likes a quitter, especially when it happens in full view. It’s hard to lie about it when it’s out there for all to see. (PS: no one is looking.)

 

So how do people stay married? They learn how, and teach others how by their example.

 

And they don’t flinch with a python on their lap.