LIFE LESSONS ‘JUST IN TIME’

Life lessons usually come to light after class lets out.

“Whew, now that was a life lesson,” is common.

But what about life lessons you recognize in the moment?

Those take a little more work.

Ordinarily a blogger going on about life lessons has something to sell.

“Buy this to make your life better.”

“Do that for a better life.”

“Go here and learn what you’ve been missing.”

Those aren’t the life lessons we’re going after on BoomerPdx, although baby boomers are an easy sell.

For a generation raised on promises, there’s a big fear of missing out, the FOMO effect.

Well, she was an American girl
Raised on promises
She couldn’t help thinkin’ that there
Was a little more to life
Somewhere else
After all it was a great big world
With lots of places to run to
Yeah, and if she had to die tryin’
She had one little promise
She was gonna keep

For American boys and girls raised in the ’70s the door to the great big world was wide open.

Who stood up and walked through it?

Riding The Dream

Back then the map looked like this:

Go to college, be a teacher, get married, buy a house, have kids, then grandkids.

And then?

How many people do you know who are on the ‘And Then’ stage?

I got married, still married, and didn’t have a clue I’d be one of those guys, the married once guys, not with a grandad in the family tree who’d been married seven time, with parents divorced and remarried. 

What were the odds of staying together?

Now in our ‘golden years’ there’s a specter of the Gray Divorce.

I told one of my kids, you know who you are, that the pressure to be a good parent never ends.

Kid: Really? What exactly do you see as pressure to be a parent. Your parental responsibilities?

Me: The biggest is keeping the black marks off my name and carry on. No police reports, no tickets, no flameout, no grudges, no petty bullshit, no fucking up like a fuck up fucks up.

Kid: That’s a lot of pressure on you.

Me: I was talking about you.

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What’s the key to success in the ‘And Then’ part of the deal?

Patience and understanding, the sort of patience and understanding boomers didn’t have growing up.

This is the part that gets under some skin.

Too often, older people like to romanticize their youth.

If they are old enough they can say whatever they like because any evidence is long gone.

Boomers? Not so much.

Everyone has become a ‘Boomer Expert.’

We had it so good, and it was so easy, it would take an extraordinary effort to fail.

Our parents, raised during the Great Depression, said, “We put everything right in front of you. All you had to do was pick it up.”

One of the early life lessons? Pick it up.

Go Ahead And Pick Up Those Life Lessons, Son

Sounds easy enough. Just pick those opportunities and advantages up.

Most baby boomers picked the low hanging fruit, then made big changes.

Now they are in their ‘Trophy Wife’ years.

The next time I hear a thirty-five year old former beauty queen say, “I had no idea men were like this,” as they contest their pre-nep, won’t be the last.

Wife: Do you feel the same way? Do you want what boomers want?

Me: I’m going with JayZ.

Wife: Who?

Me: “Having girl problems I feel bad for you son. I got ninety-nine problems and a woman ain’t one.” 

Wife: What makes you think you’re any different?

Me: Remember when we met? We used to go on double dates, you and your guy with me and my girl.

Wife: Which one?

Me: Pick one. The point is I didn’t have girl problems. Your boyfriend had girl problems.

Wife: The biggest was you.

Me: We didn’t know that. Yet. Everyone has problems. The girls I knew had problems, the same as anyone, same as me, same as you.

Wife: What problems?

Me: The usual problems with people in their twenties. Is love real? Does love last? Is this the one? Where is it going?

Wife: Don’t you have those same questions now?

Me: Every day, honey. But they’re centered on one issue.

Wife: What’s that?

Me: I think you mean, “Who’s that?”

Wife: Okay, who’s that?

Me: You, dear. 

Wife: Awwww.

Me: Awwww.

Wife: Is this why we’re still married?

Me: Are you starting a list?

Wife: Maybe.

Me: Awwwwwwww.

Boomer Life Lessons For Millennials

When young boomers saw older people they were seeing ghosts of the the Great Depression, WWII, and Korea.

We saw old people who survived the hardships foisted on innocent people by world events.

If we believe the hype on television, sports radio, and online, older people today are living with problems associated with low testosterone, erectile dysfunction, and enlarged prostates.

I said older people, not older men and women. Why? If a man is married and carrying low T, ED, and a prostate the size of a grapefruit, his wife is worried sick.

She thinks it’s all her fault. It’s not low T, it’s her weight gain.

It’s not ED, it’s the wrinkles on her face.

That prostate? She’s not giving her man the same attention she gave him in their twenties and it blew up.

Is she wrong? If her man blames her for any of his maladies, he’s what is wrong.

And sooner than later he’ll be taking the road less traveled . . . by himself.

Or until a trophy wife appears who looks just like his wife when she was younger.

Go ahead and explain that one to your kids and see how it goes.

Leave a comment on your progress and I’ll tell you how you screwed up.