HOW TO KEEP HOPE ALIVE WHEN THINGS FEEL HOPELESS

Keeping hope alive might sound like some Pollyanna talk.

Keep hope alive, like it’s dying or something? Who believes that?

Well, until a new level of dread arrives, no one. It’s all good, right up until it’s not. That’s when hope starts to fade.

There’s something special about hope. From hope in one hand and spit in the other to see which one fills up first, to best wishes, the idea of hope is different for everyone.

Who doesn’t hope they’ll lose weight after topping an afternoon of day drinking with an extra bowl of ice cream? That’s not the hope we’re talking about.

It’s more like forwarding your heartfelt desire for the best outcome when a loved one faces adversity.

Or giving an intense recital of why someone deserves better than they’re getting.

Hope is about focus, identifying what feels like an unsolvable problem, and taking a first step. One step after another and the unsolvable problem reveals itself.

Hope is taking the first step, failing, then taking another instead of quitting.

Hope never quits, not once you’ve seen it in action. Often enough, the results are awesome. When that happens, hope is more than alive, it enlivens all who see it happen.

A dream is different than hope. The dream is fuzzy, unfocused. A good dream is something to work with; a bad dream something to be wary of.

If it’s a dream that deserves action, hope comes into play. It is the foundation of turning dreams into reality.

Consider where you live. Maybe it’s temporary, like everyone who moves to the city that matches their aspirations only to see it turn into a flaming mess of violence.

Then don’t we hope no one gets hurt, especially the newcomers who haven’t seen the beauty of the city because it’s masked in smoke and gas?

Portland is one of those cities people throng to because of a promise they believe: This is the right place at the right time for me.

What they didn’t know ahead of time is they share a city with people who have a different idea of how to keep hope alive. A peaceful protest to help police and leaders understand the community standards of police brutality? That’s a good thing.

When the peaceful protest is interrupted by violence and fire starters until the police resort to jamming and stomping and punching? Not good. How does a peaceful protest marcher respond to a violent fire starter without getting smashed in the face?

If you engage in corrective behavior with a fire starter when Officer Friendly runs up, what happens? Maybe the same thing that happened to people with press credentials yelling, “PRESS! MEDIA!”

Parents Keep Hope Alive

Here’s a little secret I learned in science class. Yes, science.

Every living organism has a creation story, the same as every loving, caring person, and every hateful, spiteful person.

Our world is divided into two types of parents: The one who walks away from responsibility, and the one who doesn’t take the walk.

I know this is as a parent, and as a parent I asked for, and got, advice.

Best advice: Kids will have questions and they’ll ask those questions until you think they couldn’t ask another. But, they do. If a parent doesn’t answer those questions to the best of their ability, kids find and accept answers on their own.

Over time I’ve watched parents of every stripe work with their kids. After volunteering and coaching youth sports, I got a dose of the parental emotions you’ve seen play out in Pee Wee sports.

Some parents dropped their kid off early and picked up late; some dropped off and stuck around to glare at everything for the inconvenience.

Me? I dove in and worked the best side of sports, the reason sports exist: people learn and change and improve their game. It’s a beautiful thing to see.

Not so pretty is watching kids I coached for years chuck it all away and turn to a peer group that makes up answers to common questions. When a group decides the best answer they can agree on is, “Let’s break shit, steal things, and fade away before the cops show up,” disappointment is on the doorstep.

More disappointing are parents who have moved on from their kids’ troubles. They say they’ve moved on, but I don’t think anyone moves that far. Moving on is a convenient way to say, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

It’s more polite than, “Mind your own damn business.”

Which way is better than another: Young men and women who loot stores with a broken lock? Or, young men and women explaining that looting and throwing things to hurt others has no place in a peaceful protest?

Which choice is better: Ignoring kids until they find the love and understanding from an adult who also teaches racism and ignorance? Or, taking the time with kids to teach them racism and ignorance are a last ditch effort from a dying breed?

How we keep hope alive depends on how well our bullshit filters work. Follow me for cleaning tips.