How To Eulogize Your Mom

NW Boomer Pointers

Sunset At Sunset (image via lodging.uptake.com)

The day eventually comes for all baby boomers to stand up and speak.

If you don’t want to choke, practice ahead of time.

Even if you don’t picture yourself as a public speaker, give it a go.

What could go wrong?

Words spoken from the heart will never miss their mark, unless you do the following:

• Use the moment to get even for past offenses?

Remember, you’re better than that.

• Use the moment to leap out of whatever closet you’ve locked yourself into?

Not good. It’s not about you.

• Use the moment to complain?

Save it. There’ll be time for whining later.

What you want to be is thankful and gracious.

• Tell those who come that Momma might have finished her race but they are all winners for being there.

A trophy and juice box is a good reward for this.

• Recall how your mom dressed down for the high school varsity football game, did warm-ups, and kicked the quarterback in the butt for good measure while he took snaps.

If you’re not athletic, or she was more athletic than you, show some appreciation.

• Your mom has seen you at many stages of your life, the good and the bad.

Remember the good and tell how she helped you get past the bad.

That’s the guide in a nutshell. Follow these few instructions and you’ll be fine.

If you stray from the program and break out the Crown Royal or frozen Fireball and run amuck on a beach in a Russian Speedo last seen on a fat man sweltering on the Black Sea, don’t fret.

As a baby boomer blogger, I’ve seen worse from better. So have you.

Have you spoken about a loved one after they’re gone?